Who’s Your Daddy?
It's coming up fast, and you've probably put it off for too long-that's right; Father's Day is coming! Fear not, for I have just the solution for all of you last minute Father's Day shoppers. You know that a bottom of the barrel card selection from the Dollar Store isn't going to cut it, besides, Dad deserves more than just →
Sprains, Fractures And 5 Irons
I had quite the full weekend. I threw my back out on Thursday while I was in my crawl space installing electric and broadband lines for a computer relocation. It was sort of like if John Wayne Gacy worked for AT&T or Comcast. I didn't wear my clown suit, though. Then on Friday I drove to Charlotte to watch my →
My Other Left Foot
NukeMom noticed a bump on my right foot the other day. I hadn't paid much heed to the pain down there because I always have pain in my feet, it's the norm for me. When I looked at it and realized that she wasn't joking, I reached down to touch it, thinking it was a cyst, but it wasn't. It's →
Glaze On The Highway
Remember Driver's Ed? I do. I don't know about you all, but at our school we drove on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and did classroom work on Tuesday and Thursday. The only reason we didn't drive every day was because the health teacher used the car on Tuesday and Thursday for Sex Ed. Usually, Tuesday and Thursday was book work, →
The Ones That Made It Through The TinFoil Hat
I have some pretty random thoughts sometimes. Most of you who follow this blog regularly, or those who have access to my medical files, understand that. I've mentioned before that I cracked my head open 8 times before I was 6 years old; not just bumps on the head, mind you, but real injuries that required stitches and everything. It's →
I Am Become Mario Kart, Destroyer Of Worlds
The NukeKids got a Wii for Christmas. Guess who is now obsessed with conquering Mario Kart and every stinking one of his unholy giant duck, cow in the middle of the road, turtle tossing levels? Yep; it's me. I will slay Mario Kart or I will die trying. Here's the deal: the NukeKids have played Mario Kart many times before →
Survivorgirl
As some of you may already know, the bravest person in our house when it comes to bugs and such is NukeGirl. She is fearless when it comes to all creeepy-crawlies except for spiders and bees; but then, who does like spiders and bees? We went to a Childrens' museum once when they were having an "Insectopia" show or something, →
Sibling Revelry
Wouldn't it be great if everyone dear to us knew how we felt about them? I have several times in my life thought to sit down and write to each special person in my life, telling them in great detail how they have touched and bettered my time here. I have done so on occasion, and it has been met →
Wedding Beer Blues
Well, I figured I'd better get something up here since I've been home for more than 24 hours. My trip back home to El Paso was great; I got to see family and old friends and I gained some family and friends while I was there. Little sister Stacey and Alvaro (the bride and groom) are now basking on the →
Sunshine (and dirt) On My Shoulders
One camping trip last week coupled with a trip to the New River in Foster Falls, Virginia today has led me to my present state: banging out this post while listening to John Denver. I know, I know, Dr. Isaid No is laughing hysterically right now, and that's to be expected, but I'm secure enough in my musical manhood to →
A Whiter Shade Of Pale
I've found the ultimate diet plan. You're guaranteed to lose 12 pounds in 2 1/2 days. It's called; "The Scout Camp Diet" and it works. I should know, because I invented it over the latter part of last week. All that is required to make this diet work is to hike 12 to 15 miles per day in 90 degree →
I Wonder How Many Cup Holders The F-22 Has?
The NukeFamily was back in DC this weekend for the Andrews Air Force Base Joint Services Open House. That's a great Washington DC generated name for the event, but I think most civilians would call it what it is: showing you where all of those tax dollars went. I can tell you it was money well spent. Admission was free; →
Like A Summer In Juneau
OK, maybe it's not Chicago weather, but we got blasted with a decent snow storm Sunday night into Monday morning. We got about 4 1/2" here at our house, but some places nearby got as much as 7". School was cancelled Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday we had a 2 hour delay. The kids had a blast and the washing machine →
Two Tales Of A City: Part I
My hometown of El Paso shares a common border with it's sister city, Juarez, Mexico. Most cities have to look to Europe to find a sister city; ours was just a stones throw away. You didn't need to have a great arm for that rock toss either. The border between the 2 cities/countries is the Rio Grande river; the subject →
Can You Believe These Clowns?
I know, I know; you're expecting one of my political rants, right? Too bad, this is all about the Circus. Since we are now Upper Middle Class Rednecks, we get sporadic access to the luxury box thru NukeMoms employment with a large multi-national company. But you knew that already, didn't you? Maybe I should quit bragging about it and just →
CSI: Appalachia
By now everyone knows that Flat Weasel Momma; heretofore referred to as FWM, came to visit The NukeFamily a while ago. OK, so it's been quite awhile ago. You'll find out why she hadn't been sent on her way until just recently as the story unfolds. Still, it's not like it's been 6 months or something, right Busy Dad? Don't →
The Danger Bug
The Danger Bug is alive and well in our house. Our old friend Bob the Virus couldn't make it this year, so he sent his apprentice. The Danger Bug has been passed around our house for a while now. My asthma has flared to the point that the local Community College has asked me to teach next semester's Lamaze classes. →
In The Clearing Stands A Boxer
We had house guests this weekend. Wil and Nancy (you read about their wedding in this post) came to visit. The NukeKids got to visit with 2 of their cousins as well. A and B challenged NukeBoy1 and NukeBoy2 to a soccer match in the front yard. Still don't know how it turned out; the ball remains out there →
It’s Official: We’re Rednecks
It almost happened a few months ago when the Lynyrd Skynyrd belt buckle found it's way into my cart at the Pawn Shop. A few days later the NukeBoys asked if they could TiVo Friday Night Smackdown. What? Then just last week NukeGirl came downstairs dressed for school in a white tank top and a CAT Diesel cap. This stuff →
A Photographic (After) Christmas Story
Well, Christmas was a hit at the NukeHousehold. After cleaning up 3 different times, we were left with this: We decided to get the kids out of the house for a little while and thought we would play some sports. NukeBoy2 rode his new skateboard while NukeBoy1 showed off his new customized and personalized Carolina Panthers jersey. The neighbors played some →
Almost As Good As A Cup Of Coffee
While putting NukeGirl's socks on for her today, she looked up at my shirt and said; "Daddy, what does your shirt say?" "It says 'World's Best Dad', honey". She looked at me with wide eyes and open mouth and exclaimed; "YOU'RE THE BEST DADDY IN THE WHOLE WORLD? AWESOME! How did you win that?" She was so completely convinced that →
Pole Dancing
This is a post about pole dancing. It's not the kind of pole you're thinking about, and it certainly isn't that kind of dancing. I don't even own a thong...anymore. I may still have some Loverboy and Berlin CD's around somewhere though. No; this pole dancing post will revisit a night that I mentioned earlier that people wanted to hear more →
A 12 Second Story, Told In 5 Minutes
If you were a fly on the Capri Sun stained roof of our mini-van last night, this is what you would have heard on our way to basketball practice: NukeBoy2: Hey Dad? NukeDad: Yeah? NB2: Did you know that I can blow bubbles with my hand? ND: No, actually, I didn't. How do you do that? NB2: Well, this one time at school, my friend Jeremy →
Dr. Tongue’s 3-D House Of Beef And Reptile Museum
So what happens when you get a state and a half away before you remember that you forgot to pack the camera? You tell yourself that you'll borrow your Mother In Law's camera and email pictures back to yourself. What do you do when you can't even remember to do that? You post with borrowed pictures of other peoples' turkey's →
