HTTP/1.1 200 OK Server: Tengine/2.0.2 Date: Mon, 26 May 2014 18:55:36 GMT Content-Type: text/html;charset=utf-8 Transfer-Encoding: chunked Connection: keep-alive Memento-Datetime: Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:34:00 GMT Link: ; rel="original", ; rel="timemap"; type="application/link-format", ; rel="timegate", ; rel="first memento"; datetime="Fri, 30 Apr 2010 23:54:05 GMT", ; rel="prev memento"; datetime="Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:21:27 GMT", ; rel="memento"; datetime="Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:34:00 GMT", ; rel="next memento"; datetime="Tue, 26 Nov 2013 07:24:19 GMT", ; rel="last memento"; datetime="Tue, 07 Jan 2014 00:03:15 GMT" X-Archive-Guessed-Charset: UTF-8 X-Archive-Orig-server: Apache X-Archive-Orig-link: ; rel=shortlink X-Archive-Orig-x-pingback: X-Archive-Orig-x-powered-by: PHP/5.2.17 X-Archive-Orig-vary: Accept-Encoding X-Archive-Orig-date: Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:34:00 GMT X-Archive-Orig-content-type: text/html; charset=UTF-8 X-Archive-Orig-connection: close X-Archive-Wayback-Perf: [IndexLoad: 52, IndexQueryTotal: 52, RobotsFetchTotal: 3, RobotsRedis: 3, RobotsTotal: 3, Total: 146, WArcResource: 76] Set-Cookie: wb_total_perf=146; Expires=Mon, 26-May-2014 18:56:36 GMT; Path= X-Archive-Playback: 1 X-Page-Cache: MISS Content-Encoding: gzip The Diagnosis – Nuclear Family Warhead

The Diagnosis



Well, it isn’t dorsal bunions; it’s bone spurs.  On both feet.  I WILL need surgery, but I’m OK with that; anything to keep me from walking like Jabba the Hut during a Lower GI is fine with me.  The left big toe isn’t nearly as bad as the right, but the fact that the range of motion on it is about 15% is what prompted him to say it needed to be done also.  My right foot has about 2% range of motion, meaning when your big toe starts to bend when you stand on your tippy-toes, mine stops at about the time my heel almost comes off the ground.  It also explains the wear pattern on my shoes.  The Doctor looked at them with a “Dear Lord” expression on his face and told me to bring in my newest pair of shoes so he can give me inserts to help until the surgery.  The wear pattern starts about 1/3 of the way down from my toes, stays on the outside of the shoe and the heels are almost worn through.  I’m basically walking like a barefoot little kid on hot asphalt, on the sides of my feet.  The surgery on my left knee is also why my right toe is so much worse (this is my thinking, not the Doc’s), I can’t shift my weight to my left foot because I can’t straighten my knee all the way, so I constantly stand with my weight on my right foot.  What a mess I am!

I talked him into doing both feet at the same time.  I don’t know how wise of a decision that was, but it made sense at the time.  Given my history with anesthesia, I’d rather knock it out all at once than have to go under twice.  Economically it should keep the cost down as well, so I think it’s the right thing to do.  I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to drive with 2 surgical boots on my feet for 2 to 4 weeks, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.  Possibly on crutches or in a wheel chair with me pulling groceries and 3 NukeKids behind me in Radio Flyer wagons.  I know that it is going to be a pain for a while, but I’m anxious to get it over with and be able to move like a normal human again.  For over 17 years I’ve been asking my feet, knees and hips to work in ways they weren’t intended to and it’s catching up to me.  I’ve put undue stress on my knees and hips from over compensating for my feet and it’s making all of them suffer.  Take care of your feet while you’re young.  Whoa, I’m starting to sound like Lt. Dan.  I can’t say I’m looking forward to hobbling around in surgical boots, but I’ve been walking like a gimp for so long that it can’t help but be an improvement.

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7 Responses Subscribe to comments

  1. Melisa

    Um, you’re NOT going to drive. Just sayin’. My mom’s surgery on both feet (12/23) left her not only not driving, but off her feet completely except for potty breaks and sponge baths for three months. Of course, she had bone spurs AND pins inserted (icky!), so yours will probably heal a little bit faster.

    Wow, I’m Debbie Downer today! (Just trying to prepare you though!)

    All in all, I think it’s smart to have both done at once, because even if you had one done at a time, you would still have a period of time in which you can’t drive, so you might as well get it all over with.

    Shall I call the toe truck?

    (NukeDad) A “Toe” truck; you’re killing me here. I hope I’m not down for 3 months! Let me rephrase that: I CAN’T be down for 3 months-there’s no way. I’ll just have to figure something out. I figured driving was going to be iffy, so I’ll be a busy little bee in the weeks leading up to the surgery. At least I have the neighbors to help get to the kids to and from the pool.

    Melisa´s last blog ..Acts of Bravery My ComLuv Profile

    Apr 26, 2010 @ 11:28 am

  2. SurprisedMom

    I feel for you. I really do. I’ve had problems with my feet since I was born. In my case it’s flat feet and all the accompanying problems, like my back, knees and hips. (I was told I walk like a duck by my seventh grade teacher. How humiliating. He said it front of the whole class.) Now that I’m older, my feet are in pain constantly, especially after standing on them for a long period of time. I do wear orthodics, but these only help so much.

    I know walking around in surgical boots for an a few weeks will be no picnic, but I hope once the surgery and recovery are over, your whole body including your feet, knees, hips, etc., thanks you.

    (NukeDad) What a jerk of a teacher! I think anything will be an improvement over what I have right now. I’m by no means immobile, but I can feel the situation getting worse day by day. This is the time to do it.

    SurprisedMom´s last blog ..Life Lesson: Learned My ComLuv Profile

    Apr 26, 2010 @ 3:24 pm

  3. Moby Homemaker

    At least you don’t have to wear the boot for the gout…and you might be prescribed some good painkillers for your troubles???

    (NukeDad) Gout (shiver), I hope not. The Tylenol 3 actually does the trick for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take the good stuff if they give it to me.

    Apr 26, 2010 @ 3:43 pm

  4. Tom

    I really like the wheelchair/wagon convoy idea. Strap a couple of small jet engines to either side of the chair and you’ll be going places. Steering might be a bit rough though…

    Could they make them cowboy boots to go with those spurs? That’s it! Heck with the wheelchair, get a horse!

    (NukeDad) Rockets on a wheelchair, hmmm; there’s a Darwin Award waiting for somebody in that sentence! A horse may be the way to go, Tom. I’ll let you know what I come up with. I’m going to bray, er, I mean; pray about it.

    Tom´s last blog ..At least he used a bowl. My ComLuv Profile

    Apr 26, 2010 @ 3:44 pm

  5. seashore

    After all the time spent hobbling around, you will probably feel like a new person once you are all “heeled” (sorry couldn’t resist). It should be great!

    (NukeDad) I hope so. As I get older I can feel my body slowly falling apart; anything to slow the process is helpful.

    seashore´s last blog ..A Letter to the Court? My ComLuv Profile

    Apr 27, 2010 @ 5:58 am

  6. WeaselMomma

    A. I want video of the nukekids taking you for walks (preferably downhill) in your wheelchair.

    2. I am going to actively look for the matching purse and earrings to go with the footwear.

    D. You know that your new nickname will be Gramps, right?

    (NukeDad) I helped you with your numbering. The recovery will NOT be televised. If you find earrings and a purse to match, let me know, and I think they’ve already picked out “Gimpy” for my nickname.

    WeaselMomma´s last blog ..Triple The Insanity, Triple The Fun My ComLuv Profile

    Apr 27, 2010 @ 10:50 am

  7. Tara R.

    Ouch!! When you do something, you sure don’t do it halfway! Good luck with the surgery and best wishes for a quick and uneventful recovery.

    (NukeDad) Thanks, Tara; I hope for an uneventful surgery and recovery as well, but knowing my track record North Carolina will probably have the first 8.0 earthquake in its history while I’m under, resulting in the Doctor having to extract ceiling tiles from my buttocks (a little ode to Forrest, Forrest Gu-ump).

    Tara R.´s last blog ..Open love letter… My ComLuv Profile

    Apr 28, 2010 @ 5:36 pm


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