Things You Shouldn’t Get At The Dollar Store

This post is an encore presentation that I wrote for another site from last year.  It’s still one of my favorites. Enjoy.

The kids love a trip to the Dollar Store.  You know, those bastions of consumer nirvana that have you thanking your lucky stars that you popped in today.  Who knew that they would be featuring Phil Simms’ latest book?  For a dollar?!  Give me two and I’ll scratch a name off of my Christmas gift list. Surely one of my gift receivers would love to read about Jim Nantz’s hair plugs.

Our last trip to the Dollar Store was going to be a quick grab and dash.  We needed birthday cards and wrapping paper for two upcoming birthdays.  The Hallmark people are great, but I’m not paying $4.00 for a card that will be read once (maybe) and then thrown away. Call me cheap, but at least it’s not a torn out piece of spiral notebook paper with your name written in pencil.  It’s got an envelope and everything. Be thankful.

At the last second, NukeGirl reminded me that we were out of Dora the Explorer band-aids.  Since we were near the Health and Beauty supplies, I figured; why not? I opted for the 110 count box (10 bonus bandages-FREE!) that had four different sizes.  I figured that my yield from this box would be about 75%; or approximately 82 ½ band-aids.  Not bad for a buck.  After all; they were Dollar Store band-aids.

CRUSTACEANS, AISLE 9.

What I didn’t count on was the quality (or lack thereof) of the adhesive itself.  I believe I’ve learned my lesson.  Our yield from this box is presently at 14% and falling rapidly.  It took 6 separate applications of 3 band-aids at a time to cover a cut on NukeBoy2 that was so small you would need a micrometer to measure it.  It healed by itself in 18 minutes, but there was blood and tears, so band-aids for three days was mandatory. A post it note that has been rolled in a litter box has more staying power than these band-aids.  He sneezed while watching TV and lost batch number 4.  Never again. Ever.

This exercise led me to think about other items I need to avoid when visiting the Dollar Store. I don’t want to get caught up in another J Paul Getty moment and think that I’m being frugal.  Here’s what I came up with:

·    Picture Frames: The largest you can buy for a buck is 4 X 6, so why bother? The support on the back weakens by about 1 degree daily.  2 months down the road you’ll have a drink coaster.
·    Seafood:  Please don’t tell me you need an explanation. Seafood from Kansas isn’t good for you.
·    Jewelry:  Only for those who enjoy green ear lobes and open sores on your fingers.
·    Batteries:  They won’t even tickle your tongue in the store.
·    Snack Cakes:  Little Debbie’s a little stale.
·    Flashlights:  Each comes with a 2 week warranty.
·    Make-Up:  Comes in 3 shades: Haze, Soot and Dirt.
·    Chocolate Syrup:  Trust me on this one.
·    Watches:  Tells time in 3 time zones; none of them yours.
·    Sunscreen:  SPF 4.
·    Flesh-Eating Virus Ointment: Not FDA approved, and who picked it up before you? Itchy?

These free tips should help you out the next time you think (incorrectly); “Wow! Only a dollar? What a great deal!”  Shop wisely, my friends.