Anticipation Is…Making Me Wonder Why Carly Simon Didn’t Wear A Bra On The Cover Of Her Album Titled “No Secrets.” Wait, I Think I Just Answered My Own Question

TIME FOR A SWIM

I feel like Snerdley McDweeble pacing his mother’s basement waiting for his Ukrainian mail-order bride. Or Ralphie waiting for Christmas morning so he could unwrap his Official Red Ryder carbine-action 200 shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time. I’m as anxious as an emaciated piranha lurking downriver from a swim camp for the morbidly obese just before adult swim. I’m a little excited (can you tell?), and now; I’m out of metaphors. Damn, I was rollin’ there for a minute. I have a surprise coming tomorrow.

dell_inspiron_1545 My father’s day present came in a bag that was way too big. You could have easily fit 2 or 3 bowling balls in there and still had room for shoes. Hiding at the bottom was a wireless mouse. Great, I thought; the old one is about to give out any day now and we already have a spare. I’m thick as a brick and didn’t realize that my months of begging, pleading, bribing and blubbering had paid off: I was getting a laptop! My plan was to extoll the benefits of adding a second computer to the NukeHousehold over the months from Christmas ’08 until my birthday in July. I figured by then NukeMom would either agree with me, or be driven over the edge and buy me one just to shut me up. She trumped me by getting it early; for father’s day. Now, there are some conditions that come with this laptop; namely, that in addition to being my father’s day present, it is also my birthday present, my arbor day gift and my stocking stuffer for Christmas. And I’m totally cool with that. I mean, hey, I’m getting my own laptop! Whoo Hoo! No more drudging my carcass the four and a half feet from the bed to the computer desk; I can blog from under the covers! We already have a wireless router for NukeMom’s work computer, so I’ll be able to pontificate from both the front and back patios! The possibilities are endless, really. The newspaper, Readers Digest, telephone, cell phone and DayRunner won’t be the only things I haul to the bathroom anymore. The pool! I’ve got to call the board members of our pool; I think it’s time we go WiFi under the canopy. In fact, I’ll demand it. I’m a member, dammit! I hope they appropriated funds in the budget for extra outlets.

Launch It:

Melisa

I am SO jealous!!! Congratulations on the new baby!

I think that we should throw you a laptop shower. Tell you what, I’ll round everybody up and, in the meantime, you should go do your registry at Best Buy and Comp USA.

(NukeDad) Don’t forget Linens & Things for the cleaning cloths. It should be fun, can’t wait till it gets here.

Melisa´s last blog ..When College Smells Like Chocolate

Jun 30, 2009 @ 5:27 am

Momo Fali

Congratulations! Now you can harrass me wirelessly. Awesome!

(NukeDad) Oh, yeah I can! I was actually planning on it, it’s all part of my evil plan for world domination! BWHAAA HAAA HAA!

Momo Fali´s last blog ..Random Realizations II

Jun 30, 2009 @ 6:21 am

WeaselMomma

What a fantastic gift! Just heed this warning. Now that you are no longer getting the exercise of moving that 4 1/2 feet from bed to desk 2x daily you are going to have to start doing donut curls (or some other form of exercise) or risk getting flabby (er). Trust me, I know that which I speak.

(NukeDad) Advice taken; I’d planned on doing crunches with it just like the new moms do with their newborns; think that would work?

Jun 30, 2009 @ 7:24 am

tom

You know, I really don’t want to know that you’re blogging from under the covers. Yeah. That’s just not something I want to dwell on.

Congrats on the laptop though! Here’s a suggestion: take it outside on the patio. Then you can justify a tall cool one while you blog.

(NukeDad) Sorry, Tom; TMI? I’m way ahead of you on the tall cool ones-I’ve got 8 of them in the fridge right now.

tom´s last blog ..You Split 16 Stumps, What Do You Get?

Jun 30, 2009 @ 10:50 am

SurprisedMom

I, too, am very jealous of your new laptop. I have to share mine with the two teenagers I live with. They have the audacity to look afronted when I want to be on it to blog or any other thing. The more I learn about what I can do on the computer and the longer I stay on the computer, the more they balk at giving it to me. I WANT MY OWN! Do you think if I start whining now, I’ll get one for Christmas?

Congrats! I know you’ll enjoy your new computer.

(NukeDad) I’d definitely start laying the groundwork now; who knows, maybe you’ll live up to your name and be a SurprisedMom on Halloween!

SurprisedMom´s last blog ..Breaking Morning Again

Jun 30, 2009 @ 11:26 am

JC Loco

Congrats on the new tech. If you were a slave of the cyberworld before, you will go become addicted to the point of intervention. I speak from experience… I am looking into fiber optics now but have to wait until the lotto numbers come through!

(NukeDad) Thanks! I think this should hold me over for awhile. Fiber optics? Really? Yeah, you must have it bad if you’re looking into that. Good luck with the lotto numbers!

JC Loco´s last blog ..1-800-CALL GOD.

Jun 30, 2009 @ 11:29 pm

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why

Congrats on your new baby! I am jealous! Someday…

(NukeDad) I was up all night with the little tyke.

‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why´s last blog ..My Sunset

Jul 01, 2009 @ 3:52 am

seashore

LOL! It is pretty great being able to sit on the patio and surf the net. Sounds like your wife hit the nail on the head with that gift. Enjoy your newly found wireless freedom!

(NukeDad) I’ve found that a Miller Lite makes reading email much more refreshing!

Jul 01, 2009 @ 12:39 pm

Otter

Congrats on the laptop. I am jealous though. My work computer is slowly dying and I can’t get anyone to take a hint. Your good fortune has inspired me to march into the boss’s office and make some demands.

(NukeDad) Don’t take no for an answer, Otter! I love this thing. The carrying bag just showed up today too. It has it’s own little bed to lay in.

Jul 01, 2009 @ 1:46 pm