Skidmarks

I’ve posted my share of TMI (Too Much Information) stories here, but having somewhat of a captive audience, I didn’t perceive it as being too big of a deal. After all, you can choose not to read it, right? I also did my best to make the stories humorous and self-deprecating, so I think I accomplished my goal of sharing delicate information in a non-offensive way. Stanley Steemer, on the other hand, has no such scruples. I was watching a show today when all of my sensibilities were assaulted at once. Maybe you’ve seen it. No? Have a peek:

Now, normally, I’d laugh myself silly, and in all honesty, it IS pretty funny, but how about a quick flash of Toby’s artistic interpretation? Did we really need to be subjected to 4 1/2 seconds of his technique? Did you really have to go back to him after the cut away? Did you think that I’d missed the point? Do you realize how long 4 1/2 seconds is in a 30 second spot? It’s almost 1/6th of the whole! Proportionately, watching 5 minutes of a news anchor getting caught picking their nose in a 30 minute newscast would be almost as bad. I also like how you flash to the poor little boy’s face when he realizes that he’s just gotten his best pal and pet friend Toby banished to the yard for life. The anguish on his face is priceless. Maybe you can do a follow up commercial showing Toby frolicking in the yard and happily dragging his ass along the patio while the camera cuts to the little boy sitting cross-legged in the corner of his room. As he rocks back and forth clutching his knees he can be heard quietly whispering; “No, Toby, bad boy Toby, make him stop Toby, 15 minutes to Wapner.”

Dumbing down commercials is nothing new, but good God Mr. Steemer! I know what a dirty carpet is; I’m well aware of the fact that over time carpet becomes dirty and needs to be cleaned. I’m even smart enough to know that I can purchase this thing called a vacuum cleaner to help me eradicate the dirt on a schedule; like, every few days, or twice a week maybe. Was this the best you could come up with? Did Baby Sophie projectile vomiting her peas on the carpet not test well with the focus groups? Did Aunt Edna’s drunken trip and fall and subsequent spilling of 32 ounces of Chianti on the shag offend too many alcoholics? I’d work on your copywriting department if I were you; I don’t need my dog to wipe his ass on my carpet to realize it’s time for a cleaning. Besides, I feed him better food than that. I guess with a last name like “Steemer” you had no choice butt to go for the poop angle.

Launch It:

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 6th, 2009 at 11:46 am and is filed under The Peeve Zone. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Leta

Wow…you folks in the East get assaulted much worse than we do here in the Southwest…we have the same commercial, unfortunately, but it only shows “Toby” once…and there is no neighbor visiting…at least I didn’t notice one, and I don’t think the show the poor little boy looking so sad…I think you just hear him…trust me though..I am not going to keep an eye out to verify any of this..I normally try to change the channel when it comes on.
On a brighter note, can hardly wait for the 4th…it will be great to have the 5 of us together…Love you…Leta.

(NukeDad) I’ve seen both versions too; I think they tried to tone it down, but let’s face it; a dog wiping his butt on your carpet carries plenty of shock factor whether it’s 1 second or 4 1/2 seconds. Can’t wait for the 4th either! Should be fun! Get your liver and kidneys ready! (ha ha)

Jun 06, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

Melisa

Great last sentence! Hilarious!

I actually hate to admit that this commercial has me in stitches every time it’s on my tv. Maybe because Roxie has done that before and I’m so relieved that it’s not her doing it at the time, I don’t know. And I love the way she screams at poor Toby. They’re probably another family who totally treats Toby like a human until he does something animal-like, and then he’s just a dog. Poor Toby.

(NukeDad) It is pretty funny, but I don’t think they had to show Toby in full sphincter pull to get their point across. They could have easily filmed him from the torso up and you would have understood what he was doing.

Melisas last blog post..Call It What You Want…

Jun 06, 2009 @ 4:55 pm

I wonder….how did they get Toby to trot his booty across the carpet on command. Don’t you wonder about the person that has THAT job? “Hey Joe, what kinda work do ya do?” “Oh I teach dogs how to scoot their butts across carpet.” “No s@*t.” (No pun intended)

(NukeDad) Ha! No kidding. Maybe they used tabasco sauce. If they did, then that WOULD be the worst job on earth. Rock salt, maybe?

Jun 06, 2009 @ 9:17 pm

SurprisedMom

I don’t have a dog that does this, I have a CAT. I think he does it on purpose to get a rise out of me. I’ve seen this commercial just once. It was amusing because of said cat. Sometimes I wonder about the creative process. Who decides what is entertaining and amusing? What is their judgement process?

(NukeDad) Oh! I think a cat would be worse! I think you’re correct; it’s definitely trying to get a rise out of you. If it were me, I’d give the cat a rise above my head and help it find its litterbox via airmail.

SurprisedMoms last blog post..How Come Daddyhood?

Jun 07, 2009 @ 5:33 am

WeaselMomma

This commercial has been playing to long here to still amuse me. The best part is the mom screaming “Toby”.

(NukeDad) Wow. Glad to see that I underwhelmed you with my post. The last time you left a comment that short was when I took attendance and you wrote; “Here.”

WeaselMommas last blog post..Father’s Day Brainstorming

Jun 07, 2009 @ 9:13 am

Mike

A butt dragging dog. Huh, you never see that coming do you? When you gotta itch, you gotta itch. I mean really, who among us hasn’t had that thought about “scooting” around the ground to take care of that annoying itch?

(NukeDad) Think about it, sure; just don’t do it. The people at the library told me never to come back.

Mikes last blog post..A Strange New World…

Jun 08, 2009 @ 1:00 am

FilmFather

The 15-second version of this spot (which I think Leta alluded to) is much funnier than the 30-second one. The one shot of Toby, coupled with the mom yelling his name off-screen and no reaction shot of the kid…it all adds up to a much funnier clip.

We’re currently losing a war in our house with our cat, who’s decided that our hallway is her litterbox. And if I move the litterbox to where she’s been peeing, she just pees in a new spot.

Maybe I can have the Stanley Steemer film crew over and they can shoot all this for their new commercial, with a last shot of me sending the cat, in your words, to her litterbox via airmail (LOL).

(NukeDad) If airmail doesn’t work you could always punt.