A Bird In The Mouth Is Worth Two In The Paw

Did you hear that they finally found the gene that causes shyness? They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind some other genes. In related news; the murder of 4 rednecks remains unsolved as all of the DNA is the same and there is no dental record. Speaking of teeth; what has 12 tits and 26 teeth? The morning crew at Waffle House. I’ll be here all week.

birdguilt Our lovable little NukeBeagles; Buddy and Penny, continue to struggle with domestication. I wrote about it before; here. Instinct is one thing, blood-lust is quite another. This morning they stepped over the threshold from Thrill-killers to Mass Murderers. They are now felons. They killed the state bird. North Carolina’s state bird is the Cardinal. Sports teams in St. Louis, Arizona, Louisville, Palo Alto, Ball State and St. Marys University are also partial to this beautiful bird. Beagles, apparently, couldn’t care less. Is that the look of guilt, or what? If you look closely you can see the victim at her paw. The NukeBeagle body count now consists of: 3 squirrels, 1 cardinal, 2 footballs, 1 water bottle, a hair clip and 3 socks. I’m running out of chalk. Every time they look at me, I feel like a 24oz T-bone. Now I know what happened to the steak seasoning that disappeared last week; it’s hidden under the deck where they plan to drag my warm, lifeless carcass. At least their tails will be wagging.

Launch It:

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 19th, 2009 at 9:27 am and is filed under Battlefront. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Tara R.

Our choco-Lab came in one morning with what I thought were small twigs sticking out of her mouth, after closer examination and forced extraction, these ‘twigs’ were in actuality itty, bitty, birdie legs… still attached to the itty, bitty, birdie. Ewwww….

I kinda wish the ol’ girl would catch a few squirrels… I hate those tree swinging rodents.

(NukeDad) I’m all for instinct and the practice thereof, but, this was the STATE bird! Maybe I should make some flash cards for them…

Tara R.s last blog post..Tanqueray and diet black cherry soda

Mar 19, 2009 @ 10:30 am

Melisa

I’ve seen that look before. I love it. It’s called “Temporary Beagle Remorse”, or “I’m putting on the face so you’ll give me human qualities until you forget this happened, then I’m gonna do an encore”.

I got that look the other day when Roxie drank all of my orange juice when I got up to answer the phone.

Maybe Buddy and Penny need a vacay at Chez Melisa with one S after all: it’d be like going to Finishing School. Roxie could teach them the less violent crimes.

(NukeDad) Like graffiti and vandalizing cars? Aren’t you worried about Buddy and Penny teaching Roxie how to smoke Camel non filters and shoot a 9mm Glock?

Melisas last blog post..I’m Just Helping You Locate A Season Premiere, That’s All

Mar 19, 2009 @ 4:26 pm

tom

“Mmmmm… he’s such a good master! Pass the taters.”

(NukeDad) Hell, they’d go for NukeDad Tartare, I’m sure!

Mar 19, 2009 @ 4:51 pm

Weaselmomma

And They set me up to take the rap on the Santa decapitation too!!!!
Clear my name! Get a confession! I need to get back into the country eventually!

(NukeDad) Yeah, right; now you want me to believe that the NukeBeagles have opposable thumbs and cognitive abilities sufficient enough to frame you for murder? Just take the rap, sister!

Weaselmommas last blog post..Pink Cadillac

Mar 19, 2009 @ 8:29 pm

Smoking? Nah. Shooting? Nah.

She eats money, remember? http://twitter.com/melisalw/statuses/1241249451
And Orbit gum, remember? http://twitter.com/melisalw/statuses/1337464904

I said “Finishing School”, not “Finishing Off School.”

(NukeDad) Maybe she can teach them to clean up their dirty mouths. Watch out for Penny, she’s a bitch.

Mar 19, 2009 @ 8:41 pm

Momo Fali

Damn. Cardinals get around. They are Ohio’s state bird too. As a matter of fact, there’s one living in the bush under my daughter’s bedroom window that drives me crazy at about 5:00 in the morning. Can I borrow your dogs?

(NukeDad) The thing that sucks is Cardinals stick pretty close to home-they don’t venture far, and they choose their mate for life. Mrs. Cardinal has been chirping all day looking for the Mister. This set lived in our tree for the last few years. The NukeKids were crushed. Then, about 2 seconds later, they got over it. “She’ll find someone else, Dad”, NukeBoy2 offered. At least they’re learning about letting go and won’t have stalking issues later in life. Hopefully.

Mar 19, 2009 @ 9:55 pm