The Danger Bug
The Danger Bug is alive and well in our house. Our old friend Bob the Virus couldn’t make it this year, so he sent his apprentice. The Danger Bug has been passed around our house for a while now. My asthma has flared to the point that the local Community College has asked me to teach next semester’s Lamaze classes. NukeGirl is on day 3 of home leave for her patented “From 98.6 to 101.4 in 20 Minutes” fever spike. NukeMom came home early yesterday, and not for a quiet afternoon at home with the family, but to seek out bed, pillow and Nyquil. Yesterday was a snow day as well, seeing as how we received almost 3/4 of an inch of snow that stopped at 6pm; the school board saw fit to call us at 10:44pm to inform us that school was cancelled the next day. The NukeBoys enjoyed 30 minutes of making mud angels and slush balls.
I also had a Danger Bug when I was in High School. My little sisters were cursed with it after I finally escaped the clutches of the evil beast. It was a 1971 VW Beetle. Not the Super Beetle, mind you, with an actual dashboard; just a Beetle-with the windshield closer to my face than my eyeglasses are now. My father had bought it for me with the intention of passing it on to Laura and Stacey when they became drivers. He had the best of intentions, but pride wouldn’t allow him to admit he had been defeated. See; he had owned two Beetles previously: one was his, the other was my older sister Leta’s. Both of them were reliable and never caused any problems. The Danger Bug was like the Ebola virus in sheet metal. That thing never ran right; not ever. The right rear wheel would rattle and shake when you made a left hand turn. The exhaust hoses in the engine compartment needed to be replaced on a monthly basis, lest I wanted to take the proverbial CO2 dirt nap. It would sputter and pop and grunt and groan like an old man trying to get out of bed in the morning. It was really annoying. So I did what any 16 year old boy would do; I sank $400 of stereo equipment into it so I wouldn’t have to listen to the racket.
I started off with a Concord deck with a pair of Pioneer 6×9′s in wooden boxes behind the back seat. But I could still hear the rear tire rattle. Then I added 5 1/4 inch speakers in the front doors. I could still hear the engine cough. I added 2 more 6×9′s in the back, mounting all 4 on a board that spanned the entire trunk. But I could still hear the grunts and moans. I finally bought a new board, mounted (2) 6×9′s in it for the back, took out the 5 1/4 inch speakers in the front doors and replaced them with 6×9′s. That’s kind of like trying to drive while you’re wearing Ronald McDonald’s big red shoes. I got the 6×9′s to fit in the front doors, but you had to really slam the door if you wanted it shut. This last configuration was almost perfect, but I could still hear some of the awaiting repair jobs whispering to me. So I bought an 80 watt booster/equalizer to help me over the hump. It worked! Within the first 3 days I couldn’t hear anything from the engine compartment! Or from my teachers! Or my friends! Or my parents! (Please enter your “Our amplifiers go to 11″ jokes here) I was able to rupture both eardrums with that stereo system. My father once came OUT OF THE HOUSE to tell me to turn my stereo down when I was sitting in front of the house. That’s power. Kids today drive around with their sub-woofers and bass boosters that rattle their trunk hinges to look cool, back then I did it to deaden the sound of my car falling apart. OK, I wanted to look, and sound, a little cool too, I guess.
I’ll never forget hearing Just What I Needed by The Cars for the first time in the Danger Bug. The bass notes were exploding in my chest. It was like laying on a washing machine during the spin cycle with an uneven load. Not that I would have any experience in that, it just seemed like a decent analogy. Paranoid by Black Sabbath almost cost me a rear window and my left eardrum. Hell’s Bell’s by AC/DC did cost me my left eardrum and a 32oz soda that wasn’t secured properly. In the 4 years that I was in possession of the Danger Bug I did forge some fond memories, but they were more musical than auto related. I see some of the old VW Bugs on the road every now and then and it brings a smile to my face. I think of the Danger Bug and the incredible sound system I had in there, and remember a more innocent time. Then I think of all the engine trouble and say a silent prayer for those who still own one. JC Whitney rejoices.
Mr Lady
It’s the yellow bug. I had one, too, and yep. death trap.
When we got rid of it, the mechanic said that if we’d put anything over 200 lbs in the passenger seat, the floorboard likely would have fallen out at some point on the highway. I stepped on the scale when I got home that night…..203.
My baby slept really well in the backseat. That hard, can’t wake him up sleep. Turns our the exhaust was screwy and blew back in to the car instead of out the rear. And you know where the engine is in a bug, yes? Back seat.
We defied death in a 69 yellow bug. That’s awesome.
(NukeDad) Those things were hit or miss; you either got a great, reliable car, or you got Christine.
Feb 05, 2009 @ 12:54 pm
Weaselmomma
I’m thinking you didn’t just pull the spin cycle analogy out of the air. Good times, fond memories.
(NukeDad) I knew I could count on you to expand on that. It’s not like I was in there with a copy of Cosmo or somethi……dang.
Weaselmommas last blog post..Just 4 Easy Payments of $69.95, Plus Shipping!
Feb 05, 2009 @ 2:27 pm
nonna
i’ve had 2 bugs over the years and i’m pretty sure that i’m not liking the tone you are using when talking about your vw. it is a piece of art on wheels and should be respected as such..
better straighten up mr.
(NukeDad) Dear Ms. Van Gogh, I agree with you; they are pieces of…..art. (I almost said something else) As such, they should all be taken off of the road and placed in museums and on top of junkyard signs nationwide. Just take out the cool stereo systems first.
nonnas last blog post..don’t give up…
Feb 05, 2009 @ 3:22 pm
Otter Thomas
My friend had a littel Suzuki Sidekick with four 8″ woofers behind the seat. We announced our presence by blaring snoop dogg or ice cube or some other crap everywhere we went. I am still embarrassed that I used to listen to rap. My wife laughs uncontrollably every time she thinks of it. I would love to go back and injure my ear drums to AC/DC and Black Sabbath like you did instead.
(NukeDad) A buddy of mine had the predecessor; the Suzuki Samurai. He had it for 3 months and hit a good sized pothole. The dashboard fell off. If he’d had bigger speakers (6×9′s) it may have happened sooner.
Otter Thomass last blog post..Watching Seinfeld with Dad or Not
Feb 05, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
tom
My older brother had a little bug like that. Most of the time it would catch this bizarre condition where, in his words “it isn’t running… it’s walking.” But he too decked it out with a stereo and mondo speakers, along with a new alternator and some other power systems that I never could figure out. I think eventually he just gave up using the engine and had the thing running on pure sound.
(NukeDad) That’s close to what I had. I almost cut out the floorboards so I could have Fred Flintstone foot power access if needed.
toms last blog post..A Matter Of Perspective
Feb 05, 2009 @ 6:14 pm
Mike
I love the bugs. Had one in high school. In fact, lost my virginity in the back of mine. Not much room but hell, who needs it. Eventually I got smart and bought a VW van. Now that was room to move in…
(NukeDad) OK, Mike; now we want to see the pictures! I know you have to have a few pictures of the van somewhere. Preferably the ones with you wearing HUGE sunglasses, an afro, a silk shirt, a fu manchu stache or mutton chops (we’ll accept either). I’ll give you 1 week to post about it.
Mikes last blog post..Tax Prep..
Feb 05, 2009 @ 7:15 pm
nonna
oh! you! i. can’t. believe. you. would. dare!
i’m not speakin to you OR reading you, for like, a really long time!
maybe even 24 hours…
…starting now (unless you take it back and swear that the vw bug is the bestest car ever)
(NukeDad) How about I just put a bumper sticker on the back of every VW bug I see that says; “My Other Car Is A Piece Of Crap Too”.
nonnas last blog post..micro has lost it…
Feb 05, 2009 @ 11:45 pm
Stacey
Believe it or not, I miss that car. I think Mom and Dad put enough money into it to have us driving a Jaguar instead, but as you said, Daddy would not be defeated. I have great memories of that car, although I pushed it more than I drove it. It once broke down in THE lane to get out of the parking lot at Coronado High School at lunch time. Needless to say, my popularity waned a tad that day. I can still hear the insults as people attempted to drive over the curb in a mad dash for Leo’s and Charcoaler.
(NukeDad) Ha, ha! I’m laughing with you, not at you. I tried to make it over Trans Mountain Road once. Big mistake. How much do you think Dad put into that thing? 4k? 5k? It was a lot; I know that.
Feb 06, 2009 @ 10:45 am
Audubon Ron
I had a B210 that was another model for the books of best trash cars of the past. It had primer all over, looked like a dairy cow. No front seat, my girl friend had to ride in the back seat all the time. It was totalled, with me in it, one Xmas eve night.
(NukeDad) Ah, the B210; how could I forget those! Tell me it was a hatchback and I’ll sing your praises for all time. My buddy had a Vega hatchback. Dirt brown; one of the two colors it came in, the other being Off-white.
Audubon Rons last blog post..Nothing More to Give
Feb 06, 2009 @ 12:07 pm
nonna
ok it probably hasn’t been 24 hours yet, but your damn website has an STD, dynamite, or going into withdrawals, i’m not sure which.
it won’t let me IE subscribe to your feed. i get this msg:
Internet Explorer does not support feeds with DTDs.
what the heck are DTDs and why do you have them and make them go away so i can get done subscribing to all my dang feeds!
oh,..i meant to say please..
(NukeDad) I’m not sure what’s going on Nonna, but I’ll give my website some penicillin anyway. Try back in 36 to 48 hours.
nonnas last blog post..micro has lost it…
Feb 06, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
Momo Fali
Great minds think alike! I just started working on a post about my first car. Though, I never ruptured my eardrums, because the radio tuner was busted and if you went over 55 mph, the tape cassette would eject itself and fly into the back seat.
(NukeDad) Based on your description; I’m going to guess either a Gremlin or a Pinto.
Feb 06, 2009 @ 11:15 pm
Karen
Seriously they canceled school because of 3/4″ of snow? We got over a foot when I was in high school, snow drifts up to my hip, and not only was school in session but the bus came and picked me up (right as we were digging Mom’s car out since it was like 30 minutes late). Less than an inch of snow is considered a dusting if that here, I so need to move!
(NukeDad) Was it uphill both ways?
Yeah, it gets kind of ridiculous, but they didn’t call school one time before we moved here (it was only an inch or so) and a child was killed; so they don’t take any chances at all anymore.
Karens last blog post..Snonna
Feb 07, 2009 @ 4:20 am
Karen
Actually it was uphill both ways since my neighborhood has more than one hill between the elementary school I attended and we lived close enough to it that I walked 99% of the time both ways, lol. That is so sad that a kid got killed, I guess in a region that doesn’t get much snow they are likely ill-equipped to deal with it.
(NukeDad) I think the issue was they DIDN’T call school the day that kid was killed, and they should have; now they call it when they don’t need to. It’s over-reacting the other way.
Karens last blog post..The Dishwasher
Feb 12, 2009 @ 6:19 pm