In The Clearing Stands A Boxer
We had house guests this weekend. Wil and Nancy (you read about their wedding in this post) came to visit. The NukeKids got to visit with 2 of their cousins as well. A and B challenged NukeBoy1 and NukeBoy2 to a soccer match in the front yard. Still don’t know how it turned out; the ball remains out there under a bush and I didn’t hear any taunting at the dinner table. Maybe it was a draw. The NukeBeagles (Buddy and Penny) got to visit with their cousin also. Belle The Boxer made the journey south with her family. The problem was that nobody informed the NukeBeagles. Having never met, the initial meeting was a little touchy. It went something like this:
NukeBeagles: “Who the Hell are you? What are you doing in our den? How come you get to stay out there while we’re stuck in these crates?”
Belle The Boxer: “Deal with it you little punks; where’s your food?”
NB: “You better stay away from our food, or we’ll snip at your ankles all weekend!”
BTB: “Yawn. What’s a girl gotta do to get some kibble in this joint?”
This exchange was translated by B who claims to speak a little Yelp and is fluent in Bark. At least that’s what they told me happened; I slept through it all. They got in around Midnight on Friday; and while I’m usually a night-owl, the previous few days had kicked my butt sufficiently enough to send me to la la land before they arrived. What a host I am. That’s OK, though; I think they forgave me Saturday night after tasting the Brisket I cooked. Oh, yeah; I’m the BBQ legend don’t cha know? Belle and Penny had an Oakley showdown:
Clearly they were both thrilled to be participants. Buddy just hung around the perimeter, occasionally dashing in for a quick sniff of Belle’s posterior like some maniacal doggie OB/GYN. She tolerated it for a while. I’ll tell you about when she’d had enough in a minute.
One of the reasons for the visit was so that Wil, Nancy and A and B could see the NukeBoys play basketball. NukeBoy1′s team lost a heart breaker by 1 point, but he played a great game defensively and had 8 or 10 points, I can’t remember which. NukeBoy2′s team was victorious, winning comfortably. NukeBoy2 played excellent defense and had 8 points and a few rebounds; which for him is great, considering he’s one of the shortest kids on the court. After they came home the NukeBoys went for a walk with NukeMom, Nancy, Wil and Belle. Why didn’t I go? I had a brisket to cook, of course! Instead of walking, the NukeBoys took their bikes. About 5 minutes into the pilgrimage there was an accident of extraordinary magnitude. NukeBoy2 accidentally turned his bike right into NukeBoy1′s. NukeBoy1 went down like Kate Moss diving for a fallen carrot stick. This is the result:
If you look at the tire dead on it looks like the infinity symbol; not exactly conducive to circular motion. It certainly could have been worse, though, and we’re thankful that it wasn’t. NukeBoy1 sustained a bump on the noggin’ and the realization that a helmet can sometimes be a benefit, regardless of what Father Muskrat says and NukeBoy2 came away with a bruised psyche and a small dose of guilt. Both manageable afflictions. The wearing of helmets is a fence that I’ve been on both sides of, but I’m just thankful that today we’re not spoon feeding apple sauce to our own little Gary Busey. Someone should teach that man how to say Endocrine System.
Buddy The NukeBeagle will now be known as Buddy Balboa. The name change is due to his ability to continually get his butt kicked and not stay down. I mentioned the quick incursions into Belle’s “personal” territory earlier. As the day wore on, Buddy became more and more brave. He began following Belle so closely that he looked like he was bucking for a promotion. If Belle had stopped short even ONCE I’m sure the fire department and the Jaws of Life would have been necessary. Finally, Belle had had enough and whipped around and gave Buddy a hearty WOOF! Buddy took it as the worst insult he’d ever incurred, and proceeded to growl, nip and gnash his teeth at Belle. It was obvious that he knew he had back up as the adults quickly pulled them apart. This continued throughout the day with Buddy taking shot after shot from Belle only to come back for more. Right about bedtime Buddy forgot to check for his back up and got taken to the canvas. Belle took him down with her paw and then, for good measure, wrapped her massive jaws around his frame and shook him to and fro to make her point. He yelped and dashed for the back door, left paw held up high. Like he was hurt, or something. We checked for a massive flesh wound and found only dog saliva and a small piece of kibble. He was faking. Obviously he was trying to play on Belle’s sympathies, but she was having none of it. Right before I dozed off for the night I could’ve sworn I heard Buddy bellow: “Yo, Adrian! I DID IT!” (Cue Maynard Ferguson)