It’s Official: We’re Rednecks
It almost happened a few months ago when the Lynyrd Skynyrd belt buckle found it’s way into my cart at the Pawn Shop. A few days later the NukeBoys asked if they could TiVo Friday Night Smackdown. What? Then just last week NukeGirl came downstairs dressed for school in a white tank top and a CAT Diesel cap. This stuff is infectious. Tonight? It was the Monster Truck Show at the Coliseum. North Carolina is starting to wear off on us, I guess. I’m afraid that on my next trip to the dump I’ll bring back more than I took. Can’t wait until the NukeBoys ask if they can take a siphon hose to school for show and tell. Apologies to Mr. Foxworthy.
We actually had a really good time. The closest we had ever been to seeing anything like this was when NukeBoy1 got to see Robosaurus at the Airsho in El Paso. Tonight it was 8 Monster Trucks; each probably costing more money than I’ll ever make in my lifetime. This isn’t your Daddy’s Monster truck. NukeMom works for a large multi-national company that has a luxury box at the Coliseum. It. Was. Awesome. THIS is the way to see an event. No wonder everybody hates rich people. Parking pass? Check. Private entrance to building? Check. Padded Seats? Check. Flat screen TV’s outside in case you miss any action from the best seats in the house? Check. It’s an indoor/outdoor suite with a TV inside on which we watched the Panther’s getting pummeled; and 12 plush seats outside with the “little people”. Peasants. It wasn’t catered or anything, but we had a PRIVATE BATHROOM, which is like having a portable water fountain in the Sahara. Six combined trips to the bathroom for the NukeKids which would have taken at least a half hour out in the realm of the commoners took only a few minutes. And they could go solo. Bonus! There was also a mini-fridge, ice maker, microwave, table with 4 chairs, and coffee table with 4 more chairs. Just picture Heaven with really loud engines. Here’s a look from the outside.
It’s not the best picture, but you get the idea. That’s NukeBoy2 holding up his initiation pennant as part of the Grave Digger Nation. Did I mention that it was loud? We had been told that earplugs would be a wise investment, and they were. NukeGirl had fun, but even with the plugs she still had to put her hands over her ears a few times. Know who obviously wasn’t a redneck who had forked over some of the rent money for tickets? This guy.
He read through the whole show. That’s spending quality time with the kids. He was seated just outside of our kingdom. We were in the front row of the outside portion of the suite (in our padded seats), he was just over the rail you see there. “The Rail of Aristocracy” I think I’ll call it. I sure am being haughty after the recent realization that I could, in fact, be a redneck; don’t you think? NukeBoy2 made a sign to bring with him to the show. Check it out:
He likes to draw skulls. His inspiration comes from a combination of pirate books, The X-Files and Alien Autopsy; Fact or Fiction? I think he nailed it. The hit of the show for NukeGirl had to be Monster Mutt. Melisa at Suburban Scrawl would have loved him too. His tongue worked. It moved in and out in a panting motion, his big ‘ole floppy ears flew around and so did his tail. It was like a beagle with a 454 under the hood.
NukeBoy2, as I’ve already mentioned, was partial to Grave Digger. Both Monster Mutt and Grave Digger are North Carolina based Monster Trucks (go figure) and were definitely the crowd favorites. NukeBoy1 thought they were all pretty cool, “But is the game on yet?” We lost him to the inner sanctum of the suite soon after kick off. All in all it was a great night; the NukeKids had a blast, NukeDad and NukeMom got in touch with their inner redneck, and we got to see (if only for a little while) how the other half lives. Well, until the bailout money runs out.
Weaselmomma
So that’s how the other half live. Sweet Digs. The NukeKids are never ever going to want to ’slum it’ in the bleachers again.
(NukeDad) Forget about the NukeKids, NukeMom was all; “I don’t know if I can come here again without being in the luxury box!”. She’s been spoiled.
Weaselmommas last blog post..Extreme Makeover ~ Blog Edition
Jan 11, 2009 @ 6:28 am
Melisa
Ha! Yep, you’re right: I would have loved “Monster Mutt”. I would have been all, “Aww, Jim, isn’t that monster truck cute?” And he, like he usually does, would have been all, “Uh, whatever” and rolling his eyes in my general direction.
Glad you had fun! I don’t think, though, that you can call yourselves rednecks since you were in the luxury box. (Maybe a pink-neck? LOL) Too fancy.
(NukeDad) That’s what I was going for, you know, the whole Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court thing.
Jan 11, 2009 @ 8:13 am
Xbox4NappyRash
Can a European be a redneck?
Because that looks like serious fun.
(NukeDad) Absolutely, XboX! It was fun!
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Third time lucky?
Jan 11, 2009 @ 8:16 am
Tara R.
He brought a book? Are you sure it wasn’t the Bathroom Reader? Monster Trucks… woohoo!
(NukeDad) I tried to see the title, but he wouldn’t put it down!
Tara R.s last blog post..There is still time to vote… and vote again
Jan 11, 2009 @ 9:53 am
nonna
lol the only college football game i’ve ever been to was in a box. i don’t think i’ll ever go see another game. the box spoiled me and it just couldn’t be as good as that first game.
ppssttt tara, you don’t woohoo monster trucks. that’s either a yeeeeeeehaw or a helllll yeah, by God!!
(NukeDad) You can get spoiled in a hurry, can’t you Nonna? And thanks for the etiquette tip.
nonnas last blog post..friday fragments
Jan 11, 2009 @ 1:46 pm
father muskrat
This is completely awesome. I’ve been to NASCAR and motorcross, and my dad used to take me deer hunting as a kid, but I’ve yet to go to a monster truck event. Thus, you have upstaged me in rednecking. And for that, I am ashamed.
(NukeDad) Don’t be ashamed, and don’t be afraid: I know that you’ll get your chance soon. Be careful, though; when I got home my teeth were kind of loose.
father muskrats last blog post..wordless wednesday: major maddie’s war face
Jan 11, 2009 @ 10:58 pm
Karen
Oh thank goodness, the taunting you on my blog without checking first has not been an epic FAIL, the campus crows are safe from me, for now! Microblogologist 1, NukeDad 0, Crows 50,000.
(NukeDad) It was just a little taunt, and I don’t get mad; I get even. Crows shouldn’t get too comfortable yet.
Karens last blog post..The Adventures of Flat WeaselMomma and Niecey
Jan 12, 2009 @ 7:06 am
tom
Private box at a monster truck rally? I can’t imagine a better weekend. You didn’t mention which brand of beer you were consuming – or can it just be implied? By the way – are there any openings at this multi-national company of which you speak?
(NukeDad) At $9 per cup, I didn’t consume ANY beer. I could get a case of Milwaukee’s Beast for that. Not that I drink anymore anyway; the occasional brew, maybe. As far as openinigs go, there are none. Everyone is hanging on by their fingernails as it is. If you make it down this far I’ll see about a guest pass for you for the boat/rv show.
toms last blog post..Dad-type Training
Jan 12, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
Dr. Isaid No
Monster Tuck Show? I thought the rusty fridge and Trans Am on blocks in your front yard told the whole story!
(NukeDad) I thought the petunias in the old toilet bowl on the front porch was the dead give-away. They do make GREAT flower pots!
P.S. It’s been so long since you’ve been here, you misspelled your own fake name! It’s Dr. Isaid No; “No” being your last name, not: Dr. Isaidno altogether. Who do you think you are? Cher? Bono? (The Irish guy, not Sonny).
Jan 12, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
Oscar
That stuff is fun. I’ve been to a few up here in New Jersey at the meadowlands. Bring your earplugs.
I pass the Grave diggers home on 158, or is it 168, On my way to OBX twice a year.
(NukeDad) It was fun, but next time I’d like to see it in a football stadium. The Coliseum is just too small. It’s like parking your Miata in a shoe box.
Oscars last blog post..I’m Ok, How ’bout You?
Jan 12, 2009 @ 5:16 pm
FilmFather
I feel that my first monster truck rally with my boys is all but imminent(sp?). They used to eat up this kid’s show on TLC called Meteor and the Mighty Monster Trucks, which is no longer on the air since TLC dropped their kid-friendly programming a few months ago so they could squeeze in a few more dozen episodes of What Not To Wear.
(NukeDad) That’ll be important when they become Hollywood Stars! Also; a request for you to review: “The Iron Giant”. NukeBoy1 loved it when he was little. So did his Mom and Dad. I’ll admit that on more than one occasion we watched it when he was sleeping. It’s a good one.
FilmFathers last blog post..Horton Hears a Who! (2008)
Jan 12, 2009 @ 10:06 pm
1sttimedad
I wish we had rednecks in Canada.
I bet the guy reading the book was Canadian!
(NukeDad) Oh, I’m sure you do; just look for the houses with wheels on them. I bet that guy would have closed his book if there had been a Dudley Do-Right Monster Truck.
1sttimedads last blog post..Out-parented by the babysitter
Jan 12, 2009 @ 10:49 pm
Karen
Hehe, you know you were the one that started it by delurking me. I think it is funny that I have never in all my blog reading/lurking encountered anyone being delurked before and I have been twice! Either way there are plenty of crows for me to choose from. I guess there have been times their population was way too high and they actually had some kind of thing where if you brought them a dead one they would give you money for it. I heard it is not uncommon for them to mark people on campus, perhaps it was not that their population was too high but that they marked the wrong person…
(NukeDad) Well, get your BB gun ready and I’ll send you some crow sandwich recipes. FWM post will be up before the weekend.
Karens last blog post..The Adventures of Flat WeaselMomma and Niecey
Jan 13, 2009 @ 12:58 am
BusyDad
The Busy’s are right there with y’all. We’re pirate-flag waving members of GraveDigger Nation. We even sat in the cheap seats and ate nachos. Keepin it real. (But we’d be delighted to partake in a splendid afternoon in a luxury box with the House of Nuke).
(NukeDad) Bring it on! The Globetrotters are here in April; I’ve already told NukeMom that if she can only get 1 ticket that I’m going.
BusyDads last blog post..Urrrgh…
Jan 13, 2009 @ 5:48 pm
Seashore Subjects
I am afraid my family’s prolonged exposure to the South is turning us into rednecks too! We have a county run “big truck” show at least 2x’s a year, and once my son saw a truck smash cars up-close and personal he was hooked! But we were standing in a field – you definitely had the better deal!
(NukeDad) I fear we’ve been spoiled for life; we’ll never want to sit with the average joe’s again! Is it possible to be a redneck AND a snob? I guess I could hold my pinkie out while sippin’ moonshine.
Seashore Subjectss last blog post..Puppies – you have to be kidding!
Jan 14, 2009 @ 5:52 am