Dear: Geoffrey The Giraffe
Hey there, you greedy little bastard; How are you? I’m a bit put out myself. It has to do with your “return” policy. That’s kind of funny; calling it a “return” policy when there’s actually no chance of “returning” anything to you without knowing how to jump thru hoops dressed like a clown with my ass on fire. If I understand it correctly, your return policy would entail me purchasing something from your store, immediately placing the receipt in my safety deposit box, returning the item to you within the appropriate amount of time only to recoup a store credit. Is that about right? That’s a GREAT policy for the dozens of people who would actually need to execute it the way you have so generously drawn it up; however, let’s explore some hypothetical situations; shall we?
Let’s say (just for arguments sake, work with me) that someone comes in with a gift that was (gasp!) purchased by someone else? I know, I know; the horror. Would your policy allow that person to return said item to your store for a refund or store credit? OF COURSE NOT! Why in the hell would you do something like that? It’s not like you can put the un-opened, never tampered with product right back on the shelf and sell it again, NO! That would be too much of a hassle! Besides, your policy is in place to help protect your company from the “Rampant Fraud” that has been perpetrated against your unsuspecting company for years by wild bands of parents and children who have been assaulting your stores one toy at a time! I know this to be true because it was so gingerly related to me by one of your “associates”. It was almost done with a smile. I can’t blame the associate, it’s not like it’s her policy; in fact, as she told me numerous times: “It’s a corporate policy”. Know what else could be termed a “corporate policy”? Bankruptcy. I’d look into it. A google search tells me that 11.4 MILLION people agree with me.
Look, Geoffrey, I understand that sometimes people do the wrong thing; like buy a DVD player so they can use it on their road trip only to return it when they get back. I know you need to have policies in place to protect you from that sort of thing, but are you incapable of looking at customers on an individual basis? Do you honestly think that I would bring my 3 children with me to your store to return 1 measly $50 stolen game? If it’s fraud you’re worried about, then work with the Justice Department and other retailers; ‘cuz I can tell you that trying to stop it at the return desk ain’t cuttin’ it.
You know what galls me the most? You aren’t even a decade removed from paying out over $50 MILLION dollars in an anti-trust suit because of your involvement in a conspiracy with toy makers to keep certain items out of Sam’s and Costco because they were kicking your ass! Want to sell more toys, Geoffrey? COMPETE! Worry about the customer instead of trying to cheat yourself into higher market share. The ‘nads on you! You wanted to dictate how the toy manufacturers would market and sell their products? First right of refusal, and all of that other BS? Are you serious? You actually got back on the right track for awhile, but, I guess it was to good to be true. It was smart of you to wait until after last Christmas to change your return policy, but I guess you forgot about the one coming up: this one. Sounds like the choir, of which I am now a proud member, is growing. And getting louder. Can you hear it yet? If not, you will. Oh, one more thing: We won’t be shopping at your store again until, um, let’s see…how does NEVER sound? We’ll make sure that we let as many people as possible know about your “corporate decision” as well. Don’t blame ME, though, I’m just an “associate”. See, the kids run this family “Corporation” when it comes to toys; and the “corporate decision” has been made. I hear Disney Wild Adventure is hiring; you may want to update your resume.
Melisa
I am *totally* behind you on this. I think that return policies are starting to border on complete ridiculousness (starting? okay, they’re there).
My Borders has (had? maybe it’s gone now) a pretty good policy on returning things without a receipt: they would check their computer to make sure that they had sold one or two of that item in the last reasonable-amount-of-time, and, if they had, you would get a store credit for it.
Seriously, the world is going crazy.
By the way, if you decide to take lessons on jump thru hoops dressed like a clown with your ass on fire, I’ll carpool with you. Sounds like a good time.
(NukeDad) The customer isn’t always right, anymore. I found a place for the hoop lessons, but you have to bring your own gauze and fire extinguisher.
Melisas last blog post..It’s Been Quite a Journey So Far, My Love!
Dec 29, 2008 @ 10:16 pm
SabrinaT
We stopped shopping there last year. I tried to order a few things for last Christmas on line. Placed the toys in my basket, and hit checkout. I went through the entire checkout process. As soon as I hit the confirm order button the shipping total DOUBLED. The little pop up politely explained to me that shipping doubles to an FPO/AP (military overseas address)…. I called Toys R Us corporate in the US and had ALL of the charges reversed.
(NukeDad) Sounds like they are pleasing customers all over the globe! I didn’t even know they were in Japan.
SabrinaTs last blog post.."Well you did it to yourself"
Dec 30, 2008 @ 5:20 am
Weaselmomma
My Dad’s old BB rifle would come in handy with that inflatable! I stoppred shopping there a few years back because of the return policy.
(NukeDad) Was it an official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock?
Dec 30, 2008 @ 5:24 am
Weaselmomma
I’m tagging you for a pesky meme. No receipt necessary, no returns allowed.
(NukeDad) A “pesky” meme? Is there any other kind?
Dec 30, 2008 @ 7:08 am
Eric
I feel the same way about Target…
although, I still shop there
(NukeDad) They’re not quite as bad, but they’re getting there.
Erics last blog post..2009 is upon us… Year end review… and beyond
Dec 30, 2008 @ 8:06 am
Kim
I really really hope their PR department finds this..I am not a fan of Toy’s R Us… Happy New Year to you and your family!
(NukeDad) I’m not a fan anymore either. They better do something if they want to keep from losing more customers. Happy New Year to you too, Kim!
Kims last blog post..Happy New Year
Dec 30, 2008 @ 9:45 am
Audubon Ron
See good reason. That’s exactly why I don’t buy anything for my wife – EVER.
(NukeDad) Ever? Like; never, ever?
Audubon Rons last blog post..Friday’s Photo Challenge – New Beginnings
Dec 30, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
Karen
A store other than Walmart sells toys? I think it has been years since I went to TRU, I am way too cheap to go there!
I know my local home depot had to change their return policy after they became the target of some scammers, one of which was my former BFF’s boyfriend. Thankfully for them that kid is a few cans shy of a six pack and is definitely missing the plastic rings that hold the one or two he does have together. Don’t shoplift a ton of crap and return it a short time later, especially if you are drunk.
(NukeDad) True. I understand the need for SOME of what they do, but TRU is just ridiculous.
Karens last blog post..Shopping With Niecey
Dec 31, 2008 @ 3:30 am
Seashore Subjects
I absolutely agree with you & the number of stores doing this is growing. I returned something to a bath/lotion store last Christmas, with the receipt – still in the enclosed gift basket and they actually wanted the credit card!! So, sadly as much as I loved their products, I refuse to shop there.
(NukeDad) Again, I understand why they need to be more cautious, but they need to evaluate each instance instead of throwing out some ridiculous blanket policy for everyone.
Seashore Subjectss last blog post..Accident? Who said accident?
Dec 31, 2008 @ 9:53 am
Trish/Astrogirl426
Yeh, we had the EXACT same experience a few weeks ago when I tried to return a Leapster game my sister had purchased, for my son, online. No, I did not have the receipt, because it was a GIFT and we’re still of the belief that you don’t give someone the receipt for a gift you give them. Although I’m discovering that these days, you have to. God. I’ll never shop there again; besides, their inventory usually sucks, and their prices are nothing to write home about. Would rather pick up cool stuff at my local Parent Teacher Store.
(NukeDad) Other retailers can join the TRU bandwagon if they want, but I think the backlash will be overwhelming. You can’t treat every customer returning something like they’re some fraud peddling thug.
Trish/Astrogirl426s last blog post..Mysterious Monday, belated
Dec 31, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Momo Fali
Hey Nukedad, vent much?
In all seriousness, I couldn’t agree more.
(NukeDad) Am I getting bad? Hmm. I’ll have to ask my Doctor if Prozac is right for me. Or, I could just stay bitter.
Dec 31, 2008 @ 5:35 pm
Mike
You’ve seen Geoffrey’s nose didn’t you? A nose that long is one that can’t be telling the truth. That long neck indicates he likes to stretch your patience…
(NukeDad) The Pinocchio of Toy Retailers to be sure.
Mikes last blog post..New Years Resolutions…
Jan 01, 2009 @ 9:13 pm
nonna
i could’ve swore i had started following you ages ago (ok, maybe not ages since i’ve only been blogging since oct. but that’s a long time for my attention span), but i must have screwed up somewhere along the way (surprise, surprise). i do believe i have remedied the situation, so you will have to suffer through my novelette type comments now. hahaha damn that was supposed to be an evil laugh, but i haven’t mastered that either
next time you have problems returning something, just take it to walmart. if you fuss just a little bit they will give you your money back. it doesn’t matter whether you bought it somewhere else or even if they don’t sell that item. they will always let you have your way. my step-daughter used to work there and she would get so mad at the managers. they made her be the bad guy and say no all the time to customers, and then when they ask for the manager, they just give the customer whatever they want! lol
(NukeDad) I knew WalMart was much better about returns, but I’ve never heard that they will take back an item they don’t even sell. Hmm….I’ll have to keep that in my memory bank. Glad you’re following! As soon as I get off of the lazy couch I’ll put you on the blogroll!
nonnas last blog post..think it will work? thursday
Jan 03, 2009 @ 1:20 am
Karen
Prozac is a very boring thing to ask a doctor for, have you learned nothing from reading my blog (and yes I am snooping your comments)? I have asked for flomax, though I would not recommend you doing so unless you want the visit to get very personal (I won’t judge if you do, probably best not to blog THAT encounter though…). Oh I know, you should say you think you have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and ask for seasonal or seasonique, yeeees that would be highly amusing and make for a hilarious blog post. Can you tell why many of the clinic/pharmacy staff who see 1000′s of students know me by name and I think much of the rest know me by reputation…
(NukeDad) I wouldn’t worry about it, Karen; just tell everyone you’re Pre-Med with a Microbiology Minor.
Karens last blog post..Shopping With Niecey
Jan 04, 2009 @ 8:39 pm