It’s Called Character
Character is doing what’s right when nobody is looking.
-JC Watts-
My sister Laura is married to a professional golfer. His name is JP Hayes. He did something the other day that everyone is talking about. He’s been interviewed on ESPN and the Golf Channel. World News Tonight on ABC will talk about it this evening. The story on ESPN dot com has over 583 comments. The banter there is at a fever pitch with strong opinions on both sides of the issue. What was the earth shattering, unbelievable thing that he did? He told the truth. An interactive poll taken by over 61,000 people asked if they would do what JP did. About 49.8 % said they would; 50.1 % said they would not. How sad is that?
Everyone should be able to understand the concept of right and wrong. Mom and Dad drilled it into your head from the time you could reach the cookie jar. Well, at least it used to be that way. Nowadays I guess it’s not such a big deal. Words like honor, integrity, ethics, character, responsibility, accountability and courage don’t mean that much anymore. A Lot of people look at them as old, out-dated cliches that you only find in black and white movies and retirement homes. I mean, nobody expects you to live that way anymore, do they? What does it say about society in general when someone can be looked down upon for doing the right thing?
I read a few of the comments over there at ESPN and was amazed, quite frankly, at the level of ignorance some people possess. Not for stating their opinion, mind you; everyone is entitled to that; but at their ignorance about the way life works. One of the most colorful comments came from somebody who stated;
“People that praise Hayes are insecure. They wish that they are more honest. Hayes is so Integrified (is this a word?), I wish I was more like him. Never mind that I’m using this Internet while I’m work, cheat on my taxes, move my ball closer to the hole after I pick up the ball mark…. You self professed honest people are no different than me. I take home office pens, **** the neighbor’s wife if i could, and sometimes refill my coke even though the sign says “no refill”"
Wow. I’m sure that guy breaks out his copy of ”The Book of Virtues” every night to share with his kids; and if he doesn’t have kids, I hope he never does. The most glaring part of his comment is that he steals pens from work. Unbelievable. Why doesn’t he just take them from church like I do? All kidding aside, the fact that this has become such a huge issue is what troubles me the most. Is honesty and integrity in such short supply that we should be surprised when someone actually demonstrates it for us? Pitiful, just plain pitiful. In a sports world where Barry Bonds can break the most hallowed record in the sport while simultaneously taking steroids, positive role models are always welcome.
It doesn’t matter if you like the game of Golf or not; JP’s actions have transcended that somehow and turned into a national discussion on honesty. I watched the interview he gave on ESPN last night with the NukeBoys. To see them react with such pride at his deed made me hold out a little more hope for the future. We talked about it over dinner and I was thankful for the fact that they were the ones doing all the talking. It wasn’t me giving them a lecture on honesty and integrity, it was them telling me about right and wrong and how they would react in certain situations. I guess what it all comes down to is one question: Can you live with the dishonest actions of the person you see when you look in the mirror? Regrettably, too many people today answer yes.
tom
Wow. Your bro-in-law sounds like a decent dude. I’m confident that Tiger Woods would not have been quite so informative. Honesty is a commodity that is in very short supply these days, and you’re absolutely right about the fact that more and more, it is becoming a character trait that earns derision and scorn. Mostly because people want to be dishonest and selfish, and they want to know that they have a lot of company so their sin doesn’t look so horrible by comparison.
(NukeDad) Good point Tom. It’s the old “Everybody else does it” argument.
toms last blog post..Crisis!
Nov 20, 2008 @ 7:22 pm
Mr Lady
I find that in golf, more than any other sport, you find that level of integrity. There’s something about that sport that separates the men from the boys. I think what your brother in law did was fantastic.
And once the Donor finds out you’re related to him, he’s going to be all up in your hizzle. Be warned.
(NukeDad) You know what it is? Golf is the only sport where you aren’t competing against other people. Sure, there are other players out there, but your competition is yourself and the golf course.
Mr Ladys last blog post..How Much Would You Like To Bet My Laundry Doesn’t Actually Get Up And Wash Itself Soon?
Nov 20, 2008 @ 8:43 pm
Tara R.
That is incredible! It’s fantastic that your BIL was so honest, but also that his show of integrity was so newsworthy. That it was considered outside what would be expected was very interesting. I think we used to call it ‘man-ing up.’ Kudos to JP for showing there is more to the game than winning at all costs.
(NukeDad) It does seem strange that doing the right thing is so “uncool” these days.
Tara R.s last blog post..UPDATE on Beany ~ nothing new in missing person case
Nov 20, 2008 @ 11:25 pm
Weaselmomma
I heard this reported yesterday on the radio along with a brief soundbite from JP. Immediately I was impressed. I thought to myself, now that’s a guy with real integrity. It made me feel pretty good to know that there are people around who are as honest as you are supposed to be. I also thought to myself, His wife picked right.
(NukeDad) She does know how to pick them, doesn’t she? He’s just that type of guy; always does the right thing. It would be nice if we all could, but judging by those poll numbers, I guess not.
Weaselmommas last blog post..Working Within The Budget
Nov 21, 2008 @ 7:53 am
1sttimedad
Kudos to Mr. Hayes on doing the right thing, even though it will effect his career, and his future earnings. I agree with Mr. Lady (how will I ever forgive myself?!?!) that golfers have such a sense of loyalty to the game and to preserving the history and keeping the ‘gentleman’ in the sport, that many likely would have done the same thing as your bro-in-law.
Major kudos to him. It sounds like he didn’t even consider getting the hell out of Dodge, and that is pretty amazing.
(NukeDad) He’s pretty amazed by all of the attention. I talked to him last night and he’s just glad it’s almost over. It’s sad when doing the right thing becomes a media event.
1sttimedads last blog post..New Zealand creating good parents
Nov 21, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
James
I hadn’t heard that story yet. It is the type of thing that you can point your kids to and say, “That’s what I mean” and have it hold more weight than what you do in your everyday life because it was a pro athlete, and he obviously wasn’t doing it for the attention.
Nice story. Give him a pat on the back from LIAYF at Thanksgiving.
(NukeDad) You got it James. We’ll pass on the well wishes. It’s all my kids have been talking about the last few days. NukeBoy2 put it to use in class today. He was awarded 20 fake dollars for a monthly contest they do when he was only supposed to get 10. He told the teacher and she let him keep the extra 10 for being honest.
Jamess last blog post..Bring it on!
Nov 21, 2008 @ 11:46 pm
Karen
He could be a good scientist with those ethics! In my field one is expected to be 100% ethical, breaches in ethics are what make the news. Depending on the severity of the violation is what happens to the person but generally speaking they can kiss their career goodbye. Ethics and good research practices are drummed into us from day 1, as it should be, especially in the areas that have an effect on public safety/health there is too much at stake. Nice to hear about someone doing the right thing for a change and very sad that it seems that more and more people don’t.
(NukeDad) Scary that people see it as out of the norm to do what you’re supposed to do.
Karens last blog post..Cough Syrup Bender
Nov 22, 2008 @ 2:36 am
Weaselmomma
P.S. And he’s a real cutie to boot!
(NukeDad) My sister certainly thinks so!
Weaselmommas last blog post..Thanksgiving Fun
Nov 22, 2008 @ 6:53 am
Mike
Being a golfer myself (hacker!) I love that your brother in law had the intergrity to follow his convictions. It’s nice to see the exposure he got, but on the other hand its sad that it got that much attention. Your BIL understands the slippery slope that you can be on if you don’t watch yourself.
Now the real question, do you get any lessons or tips when your out on the course with him. Dude, I would be so pumping him for all the information I could…
(NukeDad) He will, if I ask, but he doesn’t feel that he is the best teacher. I beg to differ, as the few times that I have asked for tips they’ve worked out well for me.
Mikes last blog post..Are We Having Fun Yet?
Nov 25, 2008 @ 8:24 pm
orlund
I agree. Integrity is extremely important. I read a good book called “There’s No Such Thing As Business Ethics”. The title makes you say “What?” but really it says that there is is only Integrity, not ethics for home, a different set of ethics for business, another set of ethics for friends and so on.
(NukeDad) Great point; too many people want to have it both ways, or all ways, or whatever. They want to be the first to bend the rules when it favors them and the first when it comes to pointing fingers.
orlunds last blog post..Friday’s Photo: Nothing But Bull
Nov 29, 2008 @ 1:52 am