Chickified Steak
I got tagged. I think they are called “meme’s” and they are the Internet equivalent of the middle school slam book. Don’t remember those? They were spiral notebooks with 2 columns on the first page; one for the boys, one for the girls. Each person signed their name next to a number and then ventured from page to page answering the questions written at the top. Here’s the cool thing; you wrote your answer, drew a line under it and then wrote your number underneath, that way NO ONE would know who you were! My buddy Randy found out the hard way that returning to page one would expose your true identity. Under “Who do you like?” or “Who would you like to GO with?” (being boyfriend and girlfriend was called “going” with each other back then; Hell, maybe it still is) he wrote: Janet. The problem was that he wrote it in HIS girlfriends slam book. They were just friends after that. Eventually. I asked him what color the sky was in his world and he said; “Huh?” Nevermind, Randy.
The ONLY reason I’m doing this is because it came from Melisa at Suburban Scrawl. She was one of my first readers and gave me the inspiration to keep going in the beginning when I was getting more heart palpitations than comments. She makes the best virtual cakes you’ve never tasted. Truly; they are amazing. Being that I was the only guy that she “tagged”, I figure I’d better get this over with quickly before I have to call my Doctor for a Testosterone gel prescription and start liking boy bands. Which reminds me; I need to re-up my subscription to Tiger Beat.
The Theme, or, “Meme” is 7 weird facts about yourself. I’m also supposed to ”tag” 7 other people, but I’m not going to do that. I tried that once with a letter. All I had to do was remove name #4, move the other names down, add my name in spot #1, mail 5 bucks to the people in spots 2 thru 4 and then mail out 10 billion copies. In 2 weeks I was supposed to get $300,000,000; instead I got a paper cut on my tongue and a visit from the postal inspector. Never again; I said. Well, here goes.
- I once dated a girl who had 3 nipples. I know, I did the math too and it was strange. To answer your question; no, it wasn’t where you’re thinking and no, it wasn’t sexy.
- My best karaoke performance EVER is “Sherry” by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. No kidding. I should be the lead in Jersey Boys. Performed once on a dare, and a second time by popular demand. Sadly, there was no request for a 3rd performance.
- If you tickle me on my sides, I will go postal. Something from my childhood that I can’t fully recover, but it involved being held down, lots of tickling, a warm feeling and then a new pair of pants. Oh, and it all happened to the theme from “Hong Kong Phooey”. Weird.
- I’m freaky good at doing math in my head. My whole family is. We get it from my Dad. Go ahead, ask me; What’s 375 + 287 + 164? 826. See? I had an old boss that used to get seriously pissed off when I could add up his invoices in my head faster than he could with a calculator. Sucks to be you, Todd, enjoy the promotion.
- My earlobes flare out and are almost parallel to the ground. Seriously, my friends used to set their beers on them. Bastards. If you look at me straight on I look like Tom Cruise requesting a fly-by. Regrettably, my flight pattern is ALWAYS full.
- I could never throw up if I’d had too much to drink. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I wouldn’t have LIKED to; BEGGED for it a few times, to be truthful, I just couldn’t. Finger down the throat? No go. Punch to the stomach? Useless. Bay City Rollers turned all the way up? The closest I ever got, actually. Good thing I don’t drink anymore. Usually now I just drink to make other people more interesting. Try it; it works!
- I eat Blue Cheese dressing as a dip. Really. Nukegirl loves it too. Nothing clears the kitchen of her Mother and brothers faster than she and I sitting down to some “Chips and Dips”, as she likes to call it. She says it real fast, though; “Daddy, can we have some CHIPSNDIPS?” I hear it’s also enjoyable on a salad. It’s a homemade family recipe and it is to die for. Unless, of course, you don’t care for mold grown in caves.
Well, there you go; 7 weird things about me that you’re probably wishing you didn’t know. At least I’m not some weirdo that sits behind a computer all day writing inane observations and posting pictures of my children to the Internet. What’s up with THOSE weirdos?
Karen
Thanks for making me check myself after seeing the picture on the wiki article, thankfully I now know that I do not have extra parts!
(NukeDad) Thank goodness! If you had found something, you could have used one of your beloved microbes to battle the extra appendage(s).
Karens last blog post..Decision 2008
Nov 05, 2008 @ 5:01 am
Weaselmomma
You are a weirdo! But I think that’s why I keep coming back.
Ok, so the girl you dated,…..Was her name Nessie? I mean Bessie? Was she from Jersey?
(NukeDad) Her name was Moo-nica, she wasn’t from Jersey, but the girl I married was!
Nov 05, 2008 @ 7:30 am
Melisa
I can’t even see the monitor through my tears of laughter. I knew you would be a Great Meme Respondant. Now that I know you can do it and that I apparently have you under my magic spell, I will send more memes your way.
(JUST KIDDING: I wouldn’t want to take advantage…until I absolutely need to someday)
I remember Slam Books: LOVED THEM. And HATED THEM.
Why don’t teenagers do them anymore? They’re probably too busy with the Internet Bullying and all that stuff.
And in all your weirdness, you have revealed another thing we have in common. Not the “dating a girl w/ 3 nipples” part, but the math talent. I too can add up numbers in my head faster than the speed of light. We are totally awesome.
(NukeDad) You sure it wasn’t the trifecta thing? The math part is cool, but I’m pretty much limited to addition, some subtraction, a little multiplication and quite a bit of division. I can’t go all “A Beautiful Mind”, or anything, but it’s still fun.
Melisas last blog post..Proud To Be A Chicago-American!
Nov 05, 2008 @ 8:46 am
Mike
How in the hell do you hit the high notes on “Sherry”? Do you grab your crotch like Michael Jackson? That is a hard song to sing. And by the way I love blue cheese dip as well. The chunckier the better. Thanks for sharing your weirdness with the rest of us. I know we are all the better for it…
(NukeDad) It’s a gift, really. No crotch grabbing needed! I never said it sounded great, just that I could do it.
Mikes last blog post..High School Again?
Nov 05, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Audubon Ron
Three nipples huh?
Well alrighty then.
(NukeDad) Don’t shoot the messenger!
Audubon Rons last blog post..Obby Won
Nov 05, 2008 @ 5:01 pm
tom
Mmmmm…. blue cheese…. I’d be right there with you on that. Especially if it’s chunky. That’s cool about the math thing. I’ll bet that came in handy doing the restaurant biz.
(NukeDad) Oh, it’s chunky alright. The math did come in handy!
toms last blog post..Pondering Change
Nov 05, 2008 @ 5:08 pm
Stacey
Lets not forget your uncanny ability to recall any song in history in 3 notes or less.
(NukeDad) I was going to put that down, but I’ve slipped a little. It sometimes takes me 5, maybe 6 notes now.
Nov 07, 2008 @ 6:48 pm
Kim
You said slam book.. bahahaha.. I so remember those from back in the day..that is goin old school on us.. (yep I am old too)!!
And three nipples ey?? interesting..
and tickling is a form of torture.. IMO..
(NukeDad) Tickling IS torture! If it’s done correctly; which, in my case, it was.
Kims last blog post..Four years, 47 Days
Nov 11, 2008 @ 1:27 am
Nuclear Family Warhead » Pole Dancing
[...] olives, tacos, enchiladas, beans, rice, salsa and chips shouldn’t be jostled excessively. Knowing my inability to evacuate the premises and get a gastro-intestinal do-over, I knew I was in trouble. Nope, throwing up just wasn’t going to be an option. I’m [...]
Dec 16, 2008 @ 8:08 pm