Doing Long Division In The Bread Aisle

Labor Day Barbecue at the pool this weekend for the Nuke Neighborhood. We’re bringing the hot dogs and buns. Let the Mathematics begin. Oscar Mayer (no relation to John) packs their bread puppies in quantities of 10; the bread companies pack their tube steak holders in packs of 8 or 12. And you thought you’d never use Algebra again. The Nuke Family will be 5 people, Mr. & Mrs. AP is 3, The Irish Ten-or’s will be 5 or 6 and Klan Torgo accounts for 4. That makes 17 or 18 hot dog eaters if everybody has 1, which will never happen because some will have more than 1 and some will have none. Let’s call it 2.2 hot dogs per person. That means I will need approximately 37.4 hot dogs.

Now; do I buy 30 and tell everybody who doesn’t get another one to make up the difference in hamburgers and potato salad; or, do I buy 40 and cook off the extra 2.6 hot dogs for the dogs (pets) and run the very real possibility of having to call the carpet cleaners? Decisions, decisions. I think I’ll go with the 30; there will be plenty of other things to eat and even though the carpet DOES need cleaning, some stains just don’t come out. Like red dye #5 and dog vomit. Alright, set on the hot dogs; now: buns. I can buy 3 of the 12 packs and use the extra 6 for garlic bread. Option 2; buy two 12 packs and one 8 pack; that leaves me only 2 extras. Maybe I can use them for mini-tuna sandwiches. Great. Now I have to buy tuna fish also. Option 3; buy two 12 packs and tell the last 6 diners to eat them like a Slim Jim. Option 4; switch with Klan Torgo and bring the chips, sodas, plates and napkins instead. I think I’m going with option 4.

Launch It:

This entry was posted on Friday, August 29th, 2008 at 3:34 pm and is filed under Tales From The Lazy Boy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Sue

My mother-in-law had an ingenious solution to this… add sliced hot dogs to mac-n-cheese or sloppy joes-n-beans in a pot. Both yummy side dishes.

(NukeDad) Funny you should say that; Nukeboy1 LOVES hot dogs in his mac & cheese. He usually asks for 2; 1 in a bun and 1 for his mac. We teach diversity in our home.

Sues last blog post..Want Another Chance at Some Luvins?

Aug 29, 2008 @ 9:08 pm

The extra hot dogs, I mean.

(NukeDad) Gotcha.

Aug 29, 2008 @ 9:10 pm

Audubon Ron

How civil. At our gatherings we eat deer sausage, raw oysters, alligator and crawfish. The festive scene looks like the remake of Planet of the Apes.

(NukeDad) Or a Disney movie on crack.

Aug 30, 2008 @ 5:28 am

Weaselmooma

Plan #4 sounds like a wiener, I mean winner.

(NukeDad) Bu-dunk, Crash! Thank you, thank you; I’ll be here all week……

Weaselmoomas last blog post..Weaselmomma For President!

Aug 30, 2008 @ 11:20 am

Melisa

My head hurts from all of this math. I hope you’re smart enough to figure it out correctly, because apparently today, I’m not. Have fun though!

We’re making pizza for Labor Day. I know, I know…I’m as shocked as you are.

(NukeDad) Knowing you, though, it’ll be a gourmet 18 topping 48″ triple-decker piece of art!

Melisas last blog post..Shut Open Your Cake-eater!

Aug 30, 2008 @ 1:20 pm

Matt

Not to over simplify, but I would just pound down the extra 2.6. You can double up on a couple of buns and go all Kobayashi on em.

(NukeDad) I’ve got the belly for it, but not the gag reflex.

Matts last blog post..RedSparks Labor Day Giveaway!!!

Sep 01, 2008 @ 1:22 pm

Karen

OR you could talk about how nasty hot dogs are and make everyone lose their appetite for them and then you don’t need to bring anything =)

(NukeDad) These were all Beef hot dogs; not “Parts is parts” hot dogs, but thanks for making me think about something I didn’t want to think about!

Karens last blog post..Making my life a little less microscopic.

Sep 02, 2008 @ 3:12 am

tom

We always get the Hebrew National dogs, which come seven to a pack. The only way the math ever works out for that kind of irrational number is if we have 56 people over. Or 28 teenagers. At least they freeze well.

(NukeDad) Nathan’s and Hebrew National’s are in my top 5.

toms last blog post..Disneyland Or Bust

Sep 02, 2008 @ 5:43 pm