Jul 23 2008
The Nukiesburg Address
On the occasion of my birthday, I thought it proper to let my Mom know that I get it now. All those times when she said; “Wait til you have kids of your own” now take on a new meaning. Getting run over by a Mack truck would have been more subtle, but, I get it now, Mom. I SAID I GET IT! Or rather; when you said; “You’re going to get it”, I didn’t fully appreciate what you meant. I appreciate it now. Boy Howdy, do I appreciate it now. So in honor of my Mom and Dad, and all parents everywhere who scoffed at their parents when they said things like; “You’ll see” and “Just you wait”, I give you “The Nukiesburg Address”. With apologies to Mr. Lincoln, and the disclaimer that this is in no way meant to dis-respect the power and nature of his great speech, I submit for your approval:
The Nukiesburg Address:
2 score and 4 years ago my father (and mother) brought forth on this continent, a new child, conceived in Texas, and dedicated to the proposition that all children are created equal (mostly).
Now we are engaged in a great civil turnabout, testing whether that child, or any child so conceived and so dedicated, can take as good as he gave. We are met on a great battle-field of that turnabout. They (Mom & Dad) have come to transfer a portion of that field, as a new resting place for those (me) who here gave their lives that that child (grandkids) might live (not if they don’t start listening!). It is altogether vengeful and proper that they should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not evacuate–we can not disintegrate–we can not keep it clean–this ground. The brave parents, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to control or contain (the kids). The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, because kids never listen anyway, but it can never forget what a mess they made here. It is for us the living (allegedly), rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who parented here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here resigned to the great task remaining before us–puberty–that from these honored dead we take increased caution to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of independence and wealth–that we here highly resolve that these dead parents shall not have died in vain-that these children, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom (college)–and that discipline of the children, by the parents, for the children, shall not perish from the earth.
The actual transcript of The Gettysburg Address; one of the greatest speeches ever written, can be found here.
Classic, original, intelligent and funny. Things your mother would have never said when you were 15, Happy Birthday!
(NukeDad) I don’t know that she would say it today!
Thanks, Barb!
Weaselmoomas last blog post..Disaster Response and Red Tape
Happy B-day Nukedad! Peace, Mike.
(NukeDad) Thanks, Mike.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUKEDAD!! I hope you get to enjoy your day.
(NukeDad) Me too! Thanks, Kim.
Kims last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Fantastic! Really enjoyed reading this man. Very well done.
Have a great birthday.
(NukeDad) Thanks, Matt. I’ve already been served breakfast in bed by the kids. Should be a great day.
Matts last blog post..The Playpen in Motion - Tuna Boats!
Excellent! They should inscribe this on your birthday cake. Happy Birthday! Looks like all the cool people were born in July.
(NukeDad) That would be a really big cake! Too many calories. Maybe I could just rub it on my thighs and be done with it.
toms last blog post..Highlights from a Birthday Dinner
Well, well, well…happy birthday.
(NukeDad) Why, Thank You Mr. XboX!
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Waiting and donating
Funny how, at least relative to mine, your birthday falls on “The Day After”
Happy birthday NUKEY D!
And just a tip: kids would be more prone to remember these words well if you hired Hannah Montana to sing it or something.
(NukeDad) Thanks, Busy D! Maybe we could put them on a Pokemon card, or something.
BusyDads last blog post..Still Reeling
This is my first visit here and I gotta tell you, what a great first visit. I will be chuckling ruefully over this for days to come.
(NukeDad) Thanks, Kori! Drop by anytime, we’re open 24/7 for your convenience!
Koris last blog post..No Drama Today
Happy Birthday! Wish I could send you a virtual cake; I’m really good at cake-baking, you know.
But I CAN send you an imaginary one. Tell me what flavor is your favorite, how you want it decorated, and I’ll have it there before dinner is over.
Have a great day! Can I send you xoxo’s in a bloggy friend kind of way? If yes, then:
XOXO!
(NukeDad) Ooooh! I want a yellow cake with chocolate icing. Boring, I know, but it’s my favorite!
Melisas last blog post..Risk-y Business
Happy Birthday.
I hear my mom’s voice everyday (in my head of course) telling me that paybacks are hell.
Too true.
I agree with BusyDad about hiring Hannah Montana, although in my case it would be Dora The Explora (I had to change the explorer so it would rhyme like it’s supposed to)
(NukeDad) Yeah, Mom was right, and I’m about 4 years away from being able to say that stuff to my kids.
Pretty good. “of the children, by the parents, for the children”……..classic. I love the picture of Nukeraham Lincoln……in sunglasses no less. What a rebel
(NukeDad) He certainly was; remember his hat? Now THAT was rebellious.