Nuclear Family Warhead

We made it home in one piece!  No “travel” issues either, unless you count $4 a gallon gasoline or the sunburned tops of my feet.  I know, I know; but I had my sandals on, I can’t be expected to remember EVERYTHING!  Well, sandals won’t be an issue for a few days.  Nor will any type of footwear.  I’m going Cro-Magnon for a few days, maybe the peeling skin will be the reminder I need next time I go to the pool.  Overall, a great time was had by all.  We’ve vacationed in Myrtle Beach several times over the last 13 years or so.  NukeMom’s brother has a time share there.  We hadn’t been since 2004 and this trip was just us, so we ended up staying in a new place.  It was nice.  The new rage in Myrtle Beach is to make your hotel a “Family Friendly Resort”.  I use the term “resort” loosely, because they certainly do.  Again, no complaints with where we stayed….well, I’ll get to that, but; some of these guys think that “Family Friendly Resort” means having fresh towel service every other Tuesday. 

Myrtle Beach is a beach town in transition.  Some of the newer high dollar mega-tels are really nice.  They have the obligatory indoor/outdoor pool area, lazy river for the kids, vastly improved beachfront areas and some are even investing in miniature water parks for the kids.  They have the best of both worlds in Myrtle Beach.  They get the millions of family vacationers in the summer, but their actual “busy” season is in the winter time.  They cater to the convention/golfer crowd.  Boy do they.  There are over 100 golf courses in the area.  I’ve played dozens, and most are excellent.  The downside of trying to cater to families and golfers on business trips is that you end up with “Thee Doll House” Men’s Club being located right next door to “Captain Bennett’s Calabash Seafood Buffet”.  I tried explaining to Nukegirl that the “Doll’s” in that particular house wouldn’t be the type that she would want to play with; and that even though I might want to, I was too old to play with dolls.  And too married. 

There is literally something to do for everyone in Myrtle Beach.  Every socio-economic group could find something to do here.  The rich can play the “fancy” golf courses; the average Joe’s can hack it around just as easily.  There is fine dining for those that drink wine with their pinkie sticking out, and there are restaurants that serve beer by the bathtub.  It is the ultimate American Melting Pot.  I think I have just as much fun “people watching” on the beach as I do anything else.  I’m sure people are doing the same with me, but who cares?  How often can you be looked upon as a Prince AND a Pauper on the same day?  The one thing we missed that I really want to see when we go back is Hard Rock Park.  I guess they finally made enough money selling $15 cheeseburgers to open their own amusement park.  The centerpiece is “Led Zeppelin-The Ride”.  It’s 15 stories tall, 6 loops at 65 mph all to the sounds of “Whole Lotta Love”.  What’s not to like?  Check out the link for more.  Nukeboy1 was desperate to go, but he and I couldn’t justify the break-away from the rest of the klan, or the $50 ticket price.  I’m sure it’s worth every penny, but we didn’t have an entire day to spend there; so, we’ll wait until next time.  His classic rock education continues as he shopped relentlessly for t-shirts.  He came home with an album cover shot of AC/DC’s Highway to Hell that covers the entire front of the shirt (featuring Angus Young in all of his devil’s horned glory) that he has already been informed will never be worn to church; a Kiss shirt that features the debut album cover and a Black Sabbath Paranoid/Ironman combo shirt that I had never seen before.  You’d think we named him Damien, but we didn’t. 

The beach was great, though the waves were a little rough the first couple of days.  The pools were clean and well maintained throughout the day.  Nukegirl loved the lazy river, which in true NASCAR fashion travels counter-clockwise.  I think it’s a law, actually.  I think one hotel paid fines of $150 a day until they got their lazy river flowing in the right direction.  Sandcastles were built, sun-screen was applied (except for me and my feet) seashells were collected and crab legs were eaten.  By the plate full.  I think they lost money on me.  I ate so many crab legs that the next morning I didn’t even have to flush.  True story.  The only drawback to the trip?  The parking garage.  Getting in the first night required an 8 point turn for the first 2 levels.  I had 3 inches of clearance on the right side and 2 on the left.  That’s if I made the turn perfectly.  15 minutes to park the first time.  I ended up on level 4.  The guy in the parking space next to me took another 5 minutes to gather himself and stop the tears from flowing; it’s that emotional of an experience.  It is the most painted parking garage on the eastern seaboard.  They put up a new coat about every 30 minutes or so to ensure that new visitors don’t see the scrapes.  They have a stucco crew that operates like a NASCAR pit crew.  They can patch a bumper induced dent or hole in under 3 minutes.  They even have uniforms.  I got a little better each time, and by the last day I was zooming past the amateurs and paint crews at breakneck speed.  Tony Stewart would’ve been proud.    

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