If I Catch Mono And It Gets Worse, Will I Have Stereo?
The test results came back, and AP is in the clear. Cujo the squirrel didn’t have rabies. We already knew that, of course, it’s just nice to have validation. Cujo did have an affliction, though; he had a scorching case of “The Stupids”. This virus can manifest itself in many different forms and is easily transferable between species. It has many different levels of infection. A mild case of “The Stupids” could cause you to go out and buy a Jonas Brothers CD at the age of 27. The cure in this instance would be to give the CD to a little brother, sister or niece/nephew. A few more days of bed rest, and you should be fine. A really bad case of “The Stupids” may cause you to wear multiple gold chains around your neck and only button your shirt up to your belly button. In modern times the largest outbreak of “The Stupids” was seen in New York City in the late 70′s. This particular strain was called the “Disco-staphylococcus” strain and actually spread nationwide before being brought under control in the early 80′s. Researchers worked tirelessly to come up with a cure for “Disco-staphylococcus” and they finally made the break through in 1980. They called it “NewWaveicillin”. It was a second generation version of the original “PunkRockicillin” which had too many side effects. Patients complained of spiked, colored hair, safety pins through the nose and projectile vomiting. “NewWaveicillin” had far fewer side effects; the most serious being an acquired addiction to John Hughes movies.
Wow, that was quite the tangent! There’s a reason for it, and I’ll explain in a minute, but let’s get back to AP for a minute. He really is doing fine. He knew that before he went to the hospital, but you can’t take chances when you’re attacked by a squirrel. In the 75 times that it has happened since they started keeping records back in 1874, seeking medical help is always first on the list. That’s an average of one squirrel attack every year and a half; so anyone reading this who wants to feed the squirrels in the park can do so safely until November of 2009. I’d start getting leery around September or October of ’09 just to be safe. AP looks fine. Here is a picture for you. He looks a little grey, but the Doctors say that’s a normal reaction to the antibiotic they gave him; arsenicicillinsomethingorrather. They said the flaky skin will take care of itself also, but he can use a putty knife if he wants to expedite the process. I offered my belt sander; we’ll see if he takes me up on it.
Now; the explanation for the tangent. I watched the 4 hours of the alleged “movie” The Andromeda Strain on A & E the other night and I was very disappointed. I loved the original movie, and though I haven’t read it yet, the book has always been on my “must read” list. It was written by Michael Crichton who gave us Jurassic Park, Congo, Sphere and many other great stories. I saw the original movie when I was 10 or 11 and it scared the crap out of me. I saw it again when I was older and had much better control of my bodily functions. The new adaptation goes for glitz and over-embellishment where the original concentrates on pure story and suspense. Thankfully the original will be airing this week also. If you saw the new one but haven’t seen the original, do yourself a favor and watch the original. It was made in 1971 when they didn’t have CGI, Lucasarts and the plethora of special effects options that they have today, so it relies on the story itself; and the story itself is great. If you need Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck blowing things up, then you may not like it. Either way, it’s worth a look.
Melisa
Okay so I am sitting here at freakin 2 a.m. because I can’t sleep and I’m working on my magazine article that’s due on Monday. I decide to blog hop a bit because I am that kind of procrastinator. I come here, and then I see THAT picture. You know, the one above, the one that will be in my head when I attempt to go back to bed in a while? THANKS.
(J/K.)
I saw the ads for Andromeda Strain and although I didn’t see the original, I remember others saying it was very good and so I had no desire to check out the remake. I may check out the original, though.
Okay, enough rambling. I have to go to another blog now, one where they post pictures of rainbows and puppies.
(NukeDad) Sorry that Cujo the Killer Squirrel with the red, beady eyes is going to haunt your dreams forever! Bwhahahahah! Or were you talking about AP and his skin condition?
Melisas last blog post..You Won’t Find Programming Like This On The History Channel, That’s For Darn Sure
May 31, 2008 @ 2:56 am
Audubon Ron
Some others, there were many. Another symptom profile of the 70’s stupids was smoking cigarettes and wearing polyester. One wayward ember and you were noticeable on fire. No matter what any man wore, by today’s standards he would be considered gay. Army surplus was the worst offender. Another was the Ford Pinto. The Pinto was supposed to replace the Mustang in popularity. Ford was stuck on an equine kick back then. I’m surprised they didn’t also call the Galaxy 500, the Ford Mare, or better yet, the Black Hole 500. The Pinto was a dismal failure on so many levels. By today’s’ standards you would be considered a hobo if you drove one around. Bless my heart, I actually made out in the back of a Pinto.
(NukeDad) I remember the polyester, the lapels had to be at least 14″ wide or the suit wasn’t “Cool”. Agreed on the Pinto, however, My friend Sergio used to haul us around in a Chevy Vega. Yep. The Vega. Best part? It was a hatchback, and it was that dirt brown color that Chevy liked so much in the 70″s. The brown that said; “don’t bother washing me, I’ll still look filthy when you’re done”.
Audubon Rons last blog post..Son House
May 31, 2008 @ 6:20 am
tom
Thank you for helping me diagnose my problem! I have a lingering case of The Stupids. I believe I caught it during the seventies, when I actually made tie-dye clothes myself and later became attracted to the colors “harvest gold” and “avocado”. Riding around in my mom’s goldenrod 1976 Datsun B210 hatchback must have made me incurable. I think at this point I can only treat the symptoms… must go rent 300 and watch it while drinking Zima. Dang! No! I meant to say Guinness!
(NukeDad) My friends Mom drove a Pacer, just like in Wayne’s World. He used to take his Pet Rock for rides.
May 31, 2008 @ 1:10 pm
tom
Michael’s Mommy and I finally watched The Andromeda Strain last night. I’m with you on this: it’s a disappointment. Would hate to spoil further what they’ve already spoiled, but the extra story they tacked on from the original was not good. It puffed up the time but did not further the story itself. And the effects were really bad, like they phoned them in from a starbuck’s. I’ll stick with the original version. It had a great quote: “Every small town doctor should run his office like the lunar lab.”
(NukeDad) I agree; however, I do think that in the right hands this film could be remade and brought up to modern times. The story is fine as is, you’re correct about the whole new tangent they threw in there; it was completely unnecessary.
toms last blog post..Not a Bad Kid
Jun 01, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
Greg
For all the hype it received, I think Andromeda was a huge disappointment. There were only a couple of (short) parts that actually gauged my interest, but that’s it. Plus, it was difficult watching Christa Miller play a serious character when you’re a Scrubs fanatic and you expect everything that comes out of her mouth to be filled with sarcasm and wit. Oh well, so when are they showing the original? Or did it come on already?
(NukeDad) The original is on Thursday June 5th at 12:50pm EDT on Encore Mystery.
Gregs last blog post..May 2008: A Month In Review
Jun 02, 2008 @ 2:27 am
Kim
I was kinda cranky that I wasted four hours of background noise when I had Andromeda Strain on the TV. I would look up every once in a while (I was on my laptop) and see some silly fake dying. But I have to laugh with Greg– It was really hard to watch Christa Miller because of the whole Scrubs thing.. I thought I was the only one that felt that way..
I really want to see the original..maybe I will catch it on TV..
(NukeDad) I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. It’s an old movie (1971), but it doesn’t play hokey and unbelievable like the new version.
Kims last blog post..Taking Off The Costume
Jun 02, 2008 @ 1:33 pm