Nuclear Family Warhead

As I’m sure you have noticed, Dr. Isaid No has been noticeably absent the last few weeks.  I was trying to avoid writing this post, but I feel that you, dear readers, have a right to know.  The Doc is missing.  Honest.  I have no idea where he is.  His face is too big for a milk carton, and he’s beyond the age limit as well, so I’m running out of options.  I’ve called Interpol, but no one answered at their “International Mad Scientists” desk.  Nurse Thighhighs is gone too, as are the children: Ebola, Bunson and Beaker.  They left about a week after the last time I saw the Doc.  I went to their house and combed over the yard, but didn’t find any fresh, shallow graves, so I’m reasonably sure that he is still alive.  The lab seemed to be in order, but the Lair was empty.  It’s quite possible that he has gotten himself caught up in some madman’s scheme again. 

Oh, you didn’t know?  Yeah, a long history of hanging out with shady characters; Qaddafi, Arafat, Hussein, Dr. Evil, SPECTRE, C.H.A.O.S., and  more recently; Putin, Chavez, the Clinton Campaign and an unconfirmed report that he was in the owners box at the Dallas Cowboys Divisional playoff game loss to the Giants.  Damn that Jerry Jones, can’t he see that the man is sick?  The last time Jones got his hooks in the Doc, Emmit Smith rushed for over 1,200 yards, and Barry Switzer almost sounded intelligent.  I’m not sure exactly what the Doc did while he was in Dallas, but let’s just say that the Doc was able to upgrade the lab after that trip.  Come to think of it, has anyone seen Barry Switzer since then? Hmmm.

Rest assured that we will leave no stone unturned in our search for Dr. Isaid No.  No, really, he loves cold, dark places; under rocks is the first place we will look.  He’s like Patrick Star with orange sunglasses.  Failure to find him there may lead us on a journey to the deepest, darkest slums of the Eastern Bloc.  Again, cold, dark places, he just loves them!  I can just picture him in some bar in a Prague slum celebrating the Czech’s Bronze medal in Hockey at the 1920 Olympic games in Antwerp.  He always was a hockey fan.  If you happen to see the Doc, please contact Interpol or your local High School Physical Science teacher; either of them will know what to do.

Full Disclosure: 

The Doc has been working tirelessly at school.  He just finished up last week, and then started back in again with Summer school this past Monday.  His classes are 4 hours a night, 4 nights a week.  Needless to say, his free time is almost non-existent.  If and when his school load eases up, he will return to being a regular contributor again; until then, you will continue to be stuck with me.  But that’s not all bad, is it?

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