May 04 2008
HR Called: They Want Their Orientation Manual Back
NukeMom works for a very large multi-national company that has over 1,200 employees in her office, and close to 8,000 worldwide. You can imagine her surprise then, when she received an email yesterday with the title “Hillbilly Vibrator” in the subject line. The email came from someone she had never heard of; and, I’m sure, will never hear from again. Apparently this young Brainiac thought it would be hilarious to share this fun little email with 8,000 of her closest friends. She and the CEO are tight. The CFO also. Let’s not forget all the Executive VP”s, Sr. VP’s, Jr. VP’s, Human Resources (Oops), Controllers, Asst. Controllers, Managers, Staff, Security, IT and Cleaning Crew.
Good Gravy woman, haven’t you ever created a mailing list on your home computer!? Couldn’t you see that it said “Global” in the distribution list? Did you really believe that you had entered 8,000 email addresses as default for Sally in Accounting? I can’t even imagine the colossal mental breakdown that would have to occur to someone for this to happen. Was she putting away files while on the phone with a customer while texting on her Blackberry while talking to her neighbor while clicking the mouse with her feet? I’m sure we’ll never know. I imagine though, that the reply email she got went something like this:
Dear Ms. Used To Work Here:
It has come to my attention that this morning at approximately 9:30am you sent out an email of questionable merit. I say this having been one of the recipients of said email. Even though I’m sure some people would say they were ROTFLMAO, you need to understand that it was Really Offensive To Fellow Laborers, Managers And Officers. Additionally, IMAO you are an Incredibly Moronic Administrative Officeworker. Sorry if that last statement offends you, but since it is too late to CYA, perhaps you’d rather Contact Your Attorney. I’m sure whoever it was that sent you the email informed you that it was NSFW. It is sad that you chose not to heed their warning, because now you will Need Support Finding Work. Perhaps next week we will find out that you have found work and are Now Scanning For Wal-mart. Good day, Good Luck, and Godspeed with that Brain Transplant. Still Not Believingly Yours, Mr. Former BossMy kidneys still hurt from the laughter that ensued after NukeMom called me and told me what happened. I want to feel bad for this girl, but it’s hard. I would add a link to the site in question, but that would just make me an accessory after the fact if anyone who read this happened to (Oops) forward it on to a loved one at work. The title is at the beginning of the post and you can Google it if you like. Dear Lord.
Really? Now Scanning for WalMart?
You have this stuff written down in a little book, right? Because if you’re just naturally this hilarious, me and my little po-dunk blog are up sh*t creek.
(NukeDad) I don’t know where it comes from; I just write what the voices in my head tell me to write.
Oh, that was good. I had a good belly laugh over that!
(NukeDad) Thanks Tiff! Somebody dipped that poor girl in the stupid pond.
hahaha. Very creative for you.
Did she really get let go?
(NukeDad) She sure did. They didn’t do a cake for her, or anything….
Oh…well, thanks google.
I can see why if she did. Oh my word.
(NukeDad) Not exactly what you want to see on a work computer, eh?
Alcoholism is a series problem and we shouldn’t make fun of it’s real world consequences.
Funny story!!
(NukeDad) So is kleptomania, good thing I didn’t mention either of them.
WOW! What a fun blog to read!!! I especially loved this entry, as my husband works in that insane corporate world and sometimes I am the only person (disconnected) enough to share the mega-company gossip with as well.
Thanks for the Sunday morning entertainment…now if you could just refill my coffee while I finish reading…
(NukeDad) Thanks Traci! Terry Tate would make sure you had coffee refills.
Can you say: Paper or Plastic?
I’m so careful (read: paranoid) at my office that I won’t even sign birthday cards that may be considered a little “off”.
This sure beats that.
(NukeDad) Something tells me when this girl sees the light at the end of the tunnel it’s going to be a train, not a way out.
Once, I had an embarrassing stories contest on my blog, and the girl who won had accidentally emailed her boss a sexual email instead of her boyfriend. I found it outrageously hilarious. much like this.
(NukeDad) Alot of employers don’t get the joke anymore.
Wow, yet another reason that I do not miss the big corporate life. And I am sure that nothing will happen to that person weho sent the e-mail!
(NukeDad) That’s what she hoped. They asked her to clean out her locker about an hour after she sent it. I think she’s posting her resume to Monster dot com right about now.
One time, my husband was outside talking to a neighbor and the guy didn’t have his shirt on. I sent my husband a text that said, “Tell Joe to put a shirt on”…thinking he would read it there in the driveway and laugh, but I accidentally sent the text to a woman from our church! Nice. I wonder what she thought when she read that. Sometimes you need to stop and think before hitting send.
(NukeDad) Tis’ true; happy fingers and thumbs can get you in trouble!
Dude, that reminds me of the episode of The Office when Michael sends Jans half naked picture company wide.
(NukeDad) That’s what she said.
don’t you need like a retina scan and two people turning keys at the same time to send a global email at those big companies? If not, maybe they should look into it.
(NukeDad) HaHa! She wishes Busy Dad, she wishes….now. You make a good point; I’m sure bio-metrics will come into play in the future. And Lee Majors will get work when he films another commercial.