Apr 24 2008
Don’t Pull A Muscle
Have you ever wanted to commit murder? I mean, we all know it’s a sin and all, but if you could be reasonably sure that you could get away with it; would you? No? OK, how about this scenario then: the local sheriff deputizes you and puts you in charge of ridding the town of all the oxygen thieves that happen to reside there. I’m talking oxygen thieves like those responsible for what you see in these pictures. People who are so lazy that they can’t even make it the extra 4 spaces to put a shopping cart in the cart corral. Do you see how many there are? There are literally 18 to 20 carts that have been jacked up on that median so that these lazy asses can get home faster. These are the same socially challenged people who would be first in line to file a claim against the store if one of these carts damaged their car. “Nope, I’m sure that’s not my cart, I put mine on the median over there. How do I know it’s not my cart? Oh, that’s easy, mine had the dirty diaper in it.”
Why am I so pissed about this? Because my car was in the space you see in front of the median. I had to move 2 carts that were resting against my car. That’s right people, some (well, at least 2) of these air pilferers couldn’t even make it the last 3 feet to the median, let alone the final marathon 4 parking spaces to the cart corral. This store does have cart wranglers, they just couldn’t keep up. Got their butts kicked is what happened. What this store needs is someone with passion, someone who takes pride in their job, someone like…well, someone like this:
God Bless you, Alan Andrew Carter. The country needs more young men like you. Sure could have used your help today, though. Where the hell were you?
There is one store I frequent that charges you a quarter to use the carts. Once you pop in the quarter, the change pops off the cart. When you are done, you put the chain back in, and the quarter pops out. If you want your quarter back, you have to take your cart back to the corral.
I wish all stores did that.
For the stores that don’t, I tend to park right next to the corral if I can help it when I have the kids with me. I hate leaving carts ‘out in the open’.
(NukeDad) Just like the airport, I like that idea. Attaching a ball and chain as people get their carts may work also; keep the key at the cart corral.
I’ll bite-you bet your ass I would commit murder if I thought I could get away with it. There is a long list of people I would start with-and funny, the cart people aren’t ON it. No, mine are the people who …misspell the signs outside their business, saying things like “2 pinds of brokli” I don’t shop there. Also the people who take up two parking spaces so I won’t hit their car. Or people who stop when there is no stop sign on a main street. Or people who…ok, enough…
(NukeDad) You said it, there are plenty more targets out there
I’ve wanted to put a website up called “re-learn to drive” which would include such ettiquite as this. And the two-space parking. Argh. If you can’t park your hummer, you should not be driving it.
(NukeDad) Good point Rob. They actually have Hummer driving schools, no kiddin’.
I may have actually done this a couple of times…like when it’s pouring outside, and I get the baby in the car…and don’t want to leave the baby by herself in the car as I walk across the parking lot in the pouring rain to put a cart up. Bad Ashley.
It’s NOT an everyday habit though. Poor cart wrangler, he got fired
(NukeDad) Your scenario is understandable, but I think these people were just plain lazy.
This reminded me of the TBS show “10 Items or Less”, which my 15-year-old and I watched religiously: http://www.tbs.com/shows/10items/
So funny…and sad. I absolutely fly into a rage when I return to my car and see a cart resting against it. And you’re right…normally you see the abandoned carts within spitting distance of the corrals. UGH!
At this moment in time, my boys really seem to like doing me “the favor” of returning the cart to the store or the corral (whichever is closer) after we load up the trunk. But I expect that helpfulness to wane any minute now…
(NukeDad) Nah, you raised them right-they’ll keep on doing the right thing
Hey - that’s my cart! Sorry I dented your car…I’m joking of course but my wife just got onto me about this the other day. I didn’t walk the cart to the holder that was about 5 parking spaces away.
Now, if I saw that many carts in one spot, I would put my cart where it belongs. Hey - I just noticed that you have Building Camelot on your blogroll. Thank you! and I’m going to add your site to my blogroll.
Have a great weekend and I don’t want to hear about you in the news.
–TW
(NukeDad) So it was you! Your wife sounds like a very smart woman. Thanks for the Add!
Here in Vancouver, there is no such thing as carts without quarter or dollar slots. It must work cuz I’ve never seen anything quite like this!
Thanks for adding me to your blog roll! I’ve returned the link love on the new roll
(NukeDad) I love that idea! Too bad “customer service” rules here. Thanks for the Blogroll add!
The Cart Dude is everything I’m looking for in a man–except a ponytail. I really want a take-charge-outdoorsy-type with a ponytail! Fun blog!!
(NukeDad) Thanks Meg! I’m sure Alan Andrew Carter would grow a ponytail for you, he’s a trendsetter.
If I were in the jury, I wouldn’t convict someone who throttled one of these bandits. Its our civic duty I say. Thats a lot of carts my friend. One or two carts gets me in a mood. Twelveteen carts would put me over the edge. Against your car? WTF!?
That video ruled by the way.
(NukeDad) No kiddin’, leaving them against my car would lead to a “teachable moment” if I caught them.
Ohman, does that ever piss me off! Inevitably I find that my car is actually magnetically attracted to the stray shopping carts in the lot.
(NukeDad) I think they are attracted to ALL cars. They’re predators.