Nuclear Family Warhead

This happened a while back, so hopefully right-minded companies have corrected their menu script.  We were at a concert, a rodeo, WWF On Ice or something along those lines; at a venue that uses Aramark, Sodexo or a company like that to manage their concessions.  These are the good people that negotiate contracts with local and state governments to run the snack bars at huge arenas and stadiums, so that you can have the luxury of chomping down on $7.00 buckets of popcorn and sipping $6.00 cokes.  The venue and the event aren’t the issue, the offending company and the incident are. 

Nukeboy1 and I went to the concession stand at this event that I can’t recall, to get something to drink, and bring back some popcorn for NukeMom and Nukeboy2.  As we were standing in line I was reading the beautiful menu board, sponsored by Pepsi or Coke or whoever it was; and felt my wallet retreat further into my back pocket with each price I read.  I know I’m going to be ravaged at a place like this when I’m thirsty, but in some states, this could be considered assault.  $6.00 for a Coke?  Are you kidding me?  That was for the large size.  They had a small size for $4.50.  It’s the old “bait and switch” brought to a new level.  The small is like 12 ounces, and the large is aquarium size.  Nothing like an opportunity to “up sell” your customer.

When we finally got to the front of the line, the girl behind the counter couldn’t have looked more disinterested.  “Can I help you?” she managed.  “I’d like one small Sprite and one Large Coke, please.”  She looked at me like I had just gotten off the short bus.  “Sir, we only have Medium and Large!”  As she said this, she slowly turned her head towards the menu board, keeping her eyes on mine as if to say: “Look, it says so right here dummy”, and sure enough, on the board they were listed as Medium-$4.50 and Large-$6.00.

Now, I’m not a Rocket Surgeon, but don’t you need 3 sizes in order to have a “Medium”?  “Don’t you need 3 sizes in order to have a Medium?” I asked her.  “No, Sir.  It’s right there on the board.”  Somebody trained this girl?  Either I was irritating her, or she had heard this before.  Or, the omniscient board knew all.  I wasn’t going to give in.  “Just give me one SMALL” and I spread my hands apart in the general size of the “Medium” cup, “and a LARGE” and I made the universal gesture of “Hey! Look at me! I’m carrying a keg of beer!”.  She wasn’t very happy with me, which was obvious when we got our sodas with cracked lids and bent straws.  I signed the second mortgage to pay for them and off we went back to our seats.  This was an older arena, so they only had two seat sizes: Medium and Extra Small.

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