Mar 30 2008
Holy Molar!
After church today the Nuclear Family went out to eat. During the course of the meal I looked over at Nukeboy1 and saw the biggest OMG expression ever. In his hand he was holding one of his molars. It wasn’t a total surprise, the tooth had been doing the Macarena in his mouth for a few days, the surprise came when he chomped down on it. Ouch! Luckily, none of the other molars sustained any damage in the enamel pile-up. I asked him to let me see it, but he didn’t want to give it up. He was a little upset because last week Nukeboy2 lost a tooth, and Grandma and Grandpa were here. When Grandma and Grandpa visit, a lost tooth is worth 500% more than usual. They bring their tooth fairy with them.
Nukeboy2 was excited, as he has lost 4 teeth in the last 9 weeks and knows that there is a monetary reward involved. “I hope I lose some more teeth, Dad” he said, “Why?” I asked him. “Because I could use the money.” I told him that if you lose more than 6 teeth in a year that you have to pay taxes on them, but he wasn’t buying it. I also told him I had a friend who got audited by the tooth fairy once. Over the course of 4 years he had turned in 24 teeth for redemption, but since God only gave him 20, he had some explaining to do. He kinda bought that one. Note to self:go to the shop and hide the pliers.
When Nukegirl saw the tooth she became very excited as well, because her pre-school class had studied dental hygiene on Friday (I’m not making this up, it’s right there on the calendar next to “Meet the letter L”), and she was ready to make a contribution. “You can borrow my tooth pouch, Nukeboy1!” she said. They had made “tooth pouches” to put their teeth in once they start falling out, thus saving the Tooth Fairy the hassle of searching inside pillow cases or under beds. Dare I say, she was actually committed to this contribution? Time will tell.
Yup, in the Kid Currency exchange, a tooth is a pretty coveted unit. Highly transferable and holds its value well. The smart traders hold their teeth for when the Grandparents come to town. You’ve got some future wall street types cutting their teeth (so to speak) in the KidEx. Good for them!
(NukeDad) Now, if we can only teach them that boogers have no market value.
Audited by the tooth fairy…awesome. I love the pictures. The tooth pouch is a useful invention that keeps parents from being discovered, whoever started this trend is a genius. I always think of the South Park about the tooth fairy when kids start counting the tooth money.
(NukeDad) It actually got pretty ugly between my friend and the tooth fairy. She took out a lien on his Easter Basket. But he returned 2 bicuspids and an incisor to his little sister, and paid $1.43 in fines. It stayed on his credit report until last year.
Really liked your post!
I liked the comment about how Nuke 2 has to pay taxes for his teeth! & him turning in 24 teeth - I though that was hilarious!
Great writing!
ED
(NukeDad) Thanks, Ed. Kids gotta learn, the gov’t is always watching!