Mar 18 2008
If Your Friend Jumped Off A Building, Would You?
Dad-isms have been around since the beginning of time. Ever since Adam told Seth: “Just because your brother killed your brother doesn’t mean you have to.”, the art of the Dad-ism has been elusive for some, and standard practice for others. This started me thinking on how I would have answered differently if I had the knowledge then that I have now.
For instance, I believe I would have asked a lot more questions. How tall is the building? Is there a pool at the bottom? Will ESPN be there? Who owns the building, and are they insured? Actually, that probably would have been one of my Dad’s questions, but either way, we would’ve both benefited from the exercise. Did my friend have a good reason for doing it? Did he survive? Did it get him a date? Was it a screaming plunge, a graceful swan-dive or a double gainer with a 1/2 twist? Suffice it to say that if my friends’ leap of faith had been off of his sisters playhouse into a pile of 100 dollar bills, I would have been there quicker than an asthmatic to his inhaler. Save the hate mail, I’m sucking on mine as we speak. I love the spring. If, however, my friend went headlong off of the Sears Tower into a grove of honeylocust trees, then I believe I’ll pass.
The point is, when Dad was asking these hypotheticals, he already knew the answer, he was just looking for validation. Answer wrong and he may be looking for the nearest bar, but I knew the answer as well. And I still do. I use a lot of my Father’s Dad-ism’s today, and if I do it correctly, then my kids will use them as well.
I’m trying to modernize though. “If your friend ran up an extra 30 dollars in text messages, would you?”, “That computer isn’t going to re-boot itself!”, “Get your i-pod’s off the table.”, “Credit cards don’t grow on trees, you know.” I do have in my arsenal, though, the one Dad-ism that will always get you out of a jam. The one that no child can refute, and no Dad should be without. Use it sparingly and use it with caution. “Go ask your Mother.”
