BBQ Chicken ‘Cliffipe’

• Have wife pick up chicken from store on the way home from work
• Cuss at built-in BBQ grill ignitor that hasn’t worked since the day you bought it
• Go in house and get BBQ ignitor (Or throw matches through grill)
• Unpack chicken and say “Ewwwww” when you see chicken tray maxi-pad
• Put chicken on grill
• Put out raging fires caused by accumulated grease from the last 3 years
• IMPORTANT!  Put BBQ sauce on last unless you want to battle a sugar fire in addition to the grease fires you just brought under control
• Take cooked chicken into house and place on table
• Ask wife why the table isn’t set yet
• Dodge plate thrown by wife
• Tell wife you were just kidding
• When asked by son say: “Yes, it IS supposed to look like that”
• Go outside to BBQ Grill and lift lid.  If fires are out, leave lid open.  If fires are still burning, close lid and check back in 1 hour
• Go to medicine cabinet and apply aloe-vera to forearms
• Tell daughter you don’t know where your eyebrows went
• Sleep contented, knowing the family didn’t go hungry