The Epiphany Of A ‘Cliffipe’
It occurred to me after my last "Cliffipe" entry that some people may be wondering which Steak and Meat Seasoning NukeDad uses in his mexi-meat. It also occurred to me that some people may be wondering "What the heck is Steak and Meat Seasoning?", so I decided that I would share that information with you. It's not like it's a →
Holy Molar!
After church today the Nuclear Family went out to eat. During the course of the meal I looked over at Nukeboy1 and saw the biggest OMG expression ever. In his hand he was holding one of his molars. It wasn't a total surprise, the tooth had been doing the Macarena in his mouth for a few days, the surprise came →
Grand Opening
We are pleased to announce the grand opening of the NFW Diaper Disposal Facility. With the Nurse hailing from New Orleans, the food in the chow hall sometimes gets a bit "flavorful". This causes problems several hours later when little Beaker needs to be changed before hitting the cot. After trying several containment measures like leftover grocery bags, zip lock sandwich →
Mexi-Meat Build-a-Meal Workshop ‘Cliffipe’
Brown alot of Ground Beef Season with: Steak and Meat Seasoning, Chile Powder and Cumin Add potato (cubed) and diced green chiles Lay mexi-meat in small flour tortilla. Fold it in half and you have a soft taco Roll it up in big flour tortilla, you have a burrito Deep fry burrito, you have a chimichanga Place in store bought formed taco shell, you have a crappy →
Are You Committed, Or Just Contributing?
The kids and I differ on these two definitions. To clarify, lets recall the oft-told tale of the chicken, the pig and breakfast: If you're having bacon, eggs and sausage for Breakfast, who made the contribution and who made the commitment? Well, they both contributed, but I think the pig is definitely committed. This subject comes up during clean up time. The picture above →
The Torture Of American Idol
Every year it happens. Every year the Lair is invaded by an insidious adversary know as American Idol. This attack is always an inside job. My lab assistant and her junior cohort simply open the fortress doors and invite it in, week after week. Then there they sit, staring at the television and cheering for the nobody du jour, and →
The Demise Of The Chalk People
They roamed the hills and valleys of the driveway for days. Three days, to be exact. The tall pastel pink female was their leader. She kept them all in line. Fuchsia was her name. She ruled with an iron stick fist. She led her people through the windiest March 22nd they had ever seen. The only March 22nd they had ever →
Ant Farm: The Lost In The Mail Gel Colony
They made it! They finally got here! Well, most of them; anyway. Nukeboy2 had his heart set on an ant farm, so with the $6,000 in Toys R Us gift cards he got at Christmas, we were off. The purchase was painless, the wait for the actual ants was excruciating. See, Uncle Milton (The Ant Farm Makers) failed to →
Riggins or Andrews?
This evening my 8 year old daughter was watching The Sound Of Music. Sitting across from her was my 18 month old son, also watching the movie, but holding not 1, but 2 footballs. Does the presence of athletic equipment cancel out the fact that he was staring in rapt attention to a musical, or do I have something to worry →
Poor Man’s Fettucine Alfredo ‘Cliffipe’
Boil Water Throw in fettucine noodles ("place noodles" if you don't like splashes) In separate pan heat milk, Philly cream cheese & parmesan Toy with it a little, it's not like I have this stuff written down somewhere Drain noodles-resting spoon on the edge of pan to hold back noodles method not recommended Write "strainer" on shopping list Pour alfredo sauce over fettucine I'm assuming you put →
The Left Lane Is For Make-up Application Only
This is definitely a Peeve's topic. I know I'm not alone in my disdain and general loathing of those drivers who seem to think that the left lane is their own personal HOV lane. I know the title suggests this is just about the ladies, but there are some men out there who need some re-edjukatin' too. Say it with →
The Heel Print On My Forehead
The sounds coming out of exam room 4 at the ear, nose & throat Doctor's office were enough to send chills down the spine of the most battle hardened nurse. The inner office data-tech was seen cowering under her workstation, rocking back and forth in a fetal position chanting: "Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" The outer office receptionist, →
A Virus Named Bob
We have named our virus. His name is Bob. He lives in my chest, my daughters ear and my sons nose. He moved in 8 weeks ago and refuses to leave. I'm hospitable by nature, but this is getting ridiculous. He comes and goes as he pleases, as if HE was making the mortgage payments. It all started 8 weeks ago when →
Handicap Tags
Why do people with handicap tags feel it necessary to have them hanging from the rear view mirror when they are driving? All it does is create a huge blind spot which may cause them to hit me, and possibly make me handicapped.
Braised Lamb Chops with Balsamic Reduction ‘Cliffipe’
Who are you kidding? Go get the phone book Domino's delivers Choose closest location Call and place order Wait 30 minutes Pay Driver Serve with chilled soda or juice box
If Your Friend Jumped Off A Building, Would You?
Dad-isms have been around since the beginning of time. Ever since Adam told Seth: "Just because your brother killed your brother doesn't mean you have to.", the art of the Dad-ism has been elusive for some, and standard practice for others. This started me thinking on how I would have answered differently if I had the knowledge then that I have →
Little White Socks
Is it just me or are these things everywhere, like Captain Kirk's Tribbles? If every little white sock that I have picked up in the last 8 years had a nickle in the bottom of it I could have long since bought that 40' Chris Craft I want and headed off to Trinidad and Tobago. At first it was just a minor irritation, →
BBQ Chicken ‘Cliffipe’
Have wife pick up chicken from store on the way home from work Cuss at built-in BBQ grill ignitor that hasn't worked since the day you bought it Go in house and get BBQ ignitor (Or throw matches through grill) Unpack chicken and say "Ewwwww" when you see chicken tray maxi-pad Put chicken on grill Put out raging fires caused by accumulated grease from the last 3 →
Redeployment Is Not An Option
Ask some people what a "Nuclear Family" is, and the responses will vary from a family that lives entirely too close to the cooling towers, to a family of really smart scientist-like folk. Ask most anybody what a "Nuclear Warhead" is, and 99% will be able to tell you that it's the thingy on the end of a missle that →
