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Who’s Your Daddy?

It’s coming up fast, and you’ve probably put it off for too long-that’s right; Father’s Day is coming! Fear not, for I have just the solution for all of you last minute Father’s Day shoppers. You know that a bottom of the barrel card selection from the Dollar Store isn’t going to cut it, besides, Dad deserves more than just a card, right? Right!

My friends at RedEnvelope.com have made it easy for you to pick out a quality gift for your Dad and look like a hero while doing it. Just visit their Father’s Day Gift Page and choose from a wide variety of gifts. You can get everything from a Home brewery set to cuff links, valets, MLB coasters to every BBQ accessory you can think of. Full disclosure requires me to inform you that I was compensated for this endorsement, so I’ll go you one better and show you my compensation. I chose one of Red Envelopes valets. I had a good reason for doing so. Here is a picture of how I used to store all of the things that go in my pockets and then come out of my pockets on a daily basis.

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THE BLACK HOLE

THE BLACK HOLE

Pretty sad, huh? Everything just tossed in the front of the catch-all drawer in the kitchen. It took me almost 5 minutes to find my car keys one day because one of the NukeKids had been in the drawer looking for AA batteries. They didn’t find any batteries, but they managed to “lose” my keys. I found them in the back in an envelope for a time share offer that should have been tossed out years ago. Everyone has a drawer like this in their home; the “Black Hole” or “Bermuda Triangle” drawer where things disappear for years on end whenever you need them, only to re-appear when you’re looking for something else. Then you go back later for it and it’s disappeared once again. Well, no more for the NukeDad-I’m organized now. Check this out.

ORDER IS RESTORED

ORDER IS RESTORED

Same items neatly placed in my new personalized valet that will sit above the old catch-all drawer and allow me the piece of mind that my car keys will never be lost again. Pop on over to RedEnvelope.com and pick out something for your Dad for Father’s Day; there’s still plenty of time to get your order in and bring a smile to Dad’s face on Father’s Day. Let’s face it, there is such a thing as too many neckties. Enter the code 10offred (Ten off Red) at checkout and receive 10% off of your order. Tell them NukeDad sent you.

Armed And Packing Heath (Bars)

AVAILABLE WITH LOW FAT MAYO

A little girl in Texas accepted a Jolly Rancher from a classmate and is now spending a week in detention. The “friend” is in detention too, but I think they should skip the trial and get straight to the execution. The teacher had her taser drawn, but after shouting; “DROP THE CANDY AND PUT YOUR [...]

Sprains, Fractures And 5 Irons

NOT EVERYONE WAS HAPPY TO SEE TIGER

I had quite the full weekend. I threw my back out on Thursday while I was in my crawl space installing electric and broadband lines for a computer relocation. It was sort of like if John Wayne Gacy worked for AT&T or Comcast. I didn’t wear my clown suit, though. Then on Friday I drove [...]

The Diagnosis

HOPE I CAN FIND A BAG TO MATCH

Well, it isn’t dorsal bunions; it’s bone spurs. On both feet. I WILL need surgery, but I’m OK with that; anything to keep me from walking like Jabba the Hut during a Lower GI is fine with me. The left big toe isn’t nearly as bad as the right, but the fact that the range [...]

My Other Left Foot

IGNORE THE NEED FOR A PEDICURE

NukeMom noticed a bump on my right foot the other day. I hadn’t paid much heed to the pain down there because I always have pain in my feet, it’s the norm for me. When I looked at it and realized that she wasn’t joking, I reached down to touch it, thinking it was a [...]

The Pollen Comes A Callin’

ONE DAY AFTER BEING WIPED CLEAN

I have asthma and allergies. Since I possessed both, I figured I would do the smart thing and move to the worst state in the nation for allergies; North Carolina. I think there is a 2 week window in the month of January where allergy sufferers get a reprieve from the onslaught, that’s it. For [...]

Glaze On The Highway

JUST SEEING THIS MAKES ME TEAR UP...AGAIN

Remember Driver’s Ed? I do. I don’t know about you all, but at our school we drove on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and did classroom work on Tuesday and Thursday. The only reason we didn’t drive every day was because the health teacher used the car on Tuesday and Thursday for Sex Ed. Usually, Tuesday [...]

Oh No He Didn’t!

There was an incident at NukeBoy2′s school the other day that has me upset. His class had a substitute teacher who thought it a wise idea to attach clothespins to the earlobes of the boys for acting up. Regardless of how badly the kids were acting up, this is certainly not the appropriate response. Why [...]

What Fits Into Mother Russia?

KA-CHING!

NukeGirl lost her first tooth the other day. It was a long road to extraction, but when I noticed that it was laying back at a 45 degree angle in relation to the rest of her teeth, and that it was black, I told her maybe it was time to try another tug. She had [...]

Twittiness

I thought it would be fun to gather up some of my favorite tweets and put them on here in their own special place; kind of like a favorites column, but on the blog instead of the twitter feed. Little did I know that it would take me a month of Sundays and more patience [...]